janesvillecomments - This is now one of the best lines I've ever read on the Internet: The Mad Pumpkin Lady is screaming Shakespearian curcurbit curses ...

I am reminded of my favorite Simpson's episode when right-wing talk show host Birch Barlow says there are three things the city of Springfield will never get rid of, including Mrs. McFierly's compost heap. (scene switch to huge compost pile and Mrs. McFierly rocking nearby with a shotgun, cackling).

Picture a few years into the future, late one gloomy afternoon when Social Services visits the Ames residence in response to neighbor complaints about the smell and large clouds of flies. A couple of social field workers step up on the porch and try the doorbell - while gagging at the foul odor permeating the air. They knock a few times, then peer through the dusty window into the murky darkness and observe... hundreds of glowing triangular eyes, evil jagged gashes of toothy grins learing out of the darkness. Suddenly, the door is wrenched open - as if by an evil wind - and from shadows, accompanied by a putrid pumkin stench, strides the Mad Pumpkin Lady.

The Mad Pumpkin Lady is screaming Shakespearian curcurbit curses at the fleeing social workers, while flailing her arms as if to wrench their poor heads from their bodies and add them to the thousands of rotting, mouldering jack-o-lanterns stashed, stockpiled, squeezed and squished into every room in her home.

Had they paused to peer through the open doorway, into the dining room, they would have seen the mummified remains of the Mad Pumpkin Lady's family, seated at the dining room table, as if transfixed in mortal terror, partially preserved by the oozing pumpkin goo squeezed out from the pyramid of pumpkins stacked in a pentagram on the table. But... had they paused, they would have undoubtedly wound up joining the family... as did a hapless postman, a pollster, and a plummer months earlier.

Oh, wait... this isn't the Halloween blog?

What about those forlorn bunches of mums sticking up in the leaves?

Haven't seen them on the curb but have seen kids smashing them out in the street...