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A very organic comedy

It was the perfect June morning in my backyard.

I picked peas. My cat napped sprawled out on some carrots and onions.

The only things working hard were the bees in the clover patch I'd left unmowed.

All was well in our little, organic corner of the world.

Suddenly, a shrill scream cut the morning.

My co-gardener thought I was on fire or had been hurt in a freak trowel accident. He ran into the yard to save me.

When he asked what was wrong, all I could do was point at the cucumbers.

"Bad bug! Bad bug!"

I ran into the house and came back waving a copy of "Good Bug, Bad Bug" by Jessica Walliser. I've read it almost daily since I bought it in April. The book describes how to attract beneficial insects to your garden and how to manage pests organically.

In my panic, I was unable to name my enemy. But I easily had recognized an adult squash vine borer from a picture. The borers are one of the nastiest bugs listed in the "bad bug" section of the book.

This nasty emerges as an adult in June -- right about the time cucumbers, zucchini and squashes are blooming.

The adults lay eggs at the base of the plants. When the larvae hatch, they burrow into the vines. Plants wither overnight, according to Walliser's book.

Armed with this information, I was determined to rid my garden of this squash vine borer.

For hours -- yes, hours -- I ran around in the backyard, waving various implements.

I tiptoed up on the cucumbers and tried to squish Buggy in my gloved hands. I tried to stab her with sticks.

Occasionally, I would take a break and go putter around in the house. I hoped Buggy would think it was safe and let her guard down.

Eventually, Ray and I approached the zucchini from opposite ends. I carried a milk jug with the bottom cut off. Ray had the bottom of the jug. Quietly, we loomed over the unsuspecting bug.

Finally, I pounced.

"Did you get it?"

"I think so! Ahhh! She's flying around in there!"

"Don't lift it! Hold still!"

"Eeeek! Hurry!"

Despite the confusion, the borer eventually was dispatched into an empty laundry soap container of doom.

I think it was a fair fight: two humans versus one, 1-inch-long bug.

Organic gardening is a lot more of a contact sport than I expected.

How does your garden grow?