When Jim Lyked Gym
I like to think of myself as being a little more enlightened than a Neanderthal, even though I may be flattering myself.
However, when the subject of Milton high school gym class comes up, I am as backward as a screamer at a health care forum.
You see, I am one of those old-fashioned types who thinks high school phys ed class should still be a gender-separate affair. It pains me when my son tells me about studying yoga in gym class.
Not that I have anything against yoga, but I'm trying to envision past tough-as-nails Milton coaches Jerry Schliem, Dan Pernat and Ted Scalissi teaching it along with fencing and pickleball (a wiffle ball version of tennis). I can't picture it. Our gym classes featured units on manly sports like football, wrestling, and even the occasional game of bomberball. I have to tell you, there was excitement in the locker room when it was announced that we were playing bomberball, a form of dodgeball.
I must have been living under a rock for a couple of decades, because I had no idea that the phys ed class of my youth was long gone. Football? Nope. Wrestling? Nope. Basketball? Nope. Bomberball? Get serious! Some kid will get hurt and his parents will sue.
I have found, since expressing this opinion, that adults on the female side of the aisle tend to categorize me as a chauvinist pig. I say, put my feed in the trough.
Oh sure, some kids dreaded gym class – and there were days that I didn't look forward to it, because I wasn't much of an athlete. But overall, the chance to get out and do something physical – really physical – was a great way to let off steam during the school day.
I'm told now that kids don't bother to shower after gym class, and I guess you wouldn't need to if you're not doing anything that works up a sweat. Which unfortunately, means a whole generation of boys is being denied the opportunity to pull locker room pranks like the old “analgesic in the jock strap” trick. For the uninitiated, the analgesic used for sore muscles gets very, very warm.
Probably the best part of gym class, though, was the instructors. Ted Scalissi, formerly a professional athlete in both football and basketball, was the Milton Junior High phys ed teacher. When I was in eighth grade, Coach Scalissi suffered a heart attack and we figured we wouldn't see him the rest of the year. He was back the following week. At the high school, we had Jerry Schliem, a better athlete at 40 than most guys half his age, and Dan Pernat, a former star wrestler in college. All of these guys were likable but tough, no-nonsense yet approachable. You couldn't help but admire and respect them.
And that is the part that I am disappointed that my son is missing out on. The opportunity to, for lack of a better term, have some good male bonding and instruction from guys who defined the terms athlete and coach. Not to mention the opportunity to drill someone with a rubber ball.
Sep 12, 2009 at 12:01 p.m.
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I am of the feamle persuasion and I totally agree with Jim! I know some of you think that gym should not be segregated but I think it's best. When I was in gym I hated being there with girls and I certainly wouldn't have wanted boys there! And whats with the no shower thing,YUK!! But seriously guys need something to wear off a little energy and also guy bonding too. Just like us girls need that with only girls. I know my husband would not like the fru-fru gym, he loved contact sports like football, basketball and the like.
Sep 11, 2009 at 4:05 p.m.
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I graduated only 7 years ago from High School, not Milton, but we still played hockey, volleyball, ran the mile, and CO-ED!! (horrified gasp) Don't they do that anymore!??! Granted I enjoyed PhyEd, being an athlete, it was easier for me. I'm all for introducing new and 'usable' activities but, seriously, yoga?? Ok, we did have meditation as an option but I put myself in the weight room instead. :)
Sep 11, 2009 at 9:03 a.m.
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Though not much of an athelete either, I did think gym class was great. Running the hill sucked, but I'm glad I was made to do it! If I only did a lil' yoga, I'd be in worse physical shape. BOMBER BALL OMG the fond memories of red impact marks on inept dodgers... yeah, much changes, James. And yes, my last name IS a country ;) ^5 been reading your pieces, great job on'em all!!
Sep 11, 2009 at 8:24 a.m.
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WiGrf - Thanks for the grammatical catch. Knew I should have proofread it one more time. :)
Woody - Alas, they no longer "run the hill" anymore, either...
Sep 11, 2009 at 6:33 a.m.
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I sure would like to see Jim Lyke have a blog(or a featured story similar to his blog style) for all to read in Sinday Gazette. This guy is really interesting and I look forward to reading his blogs.
Sep 11, 2009 at 12:14 a.m.
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Actually... some of us do still wrestle, play football, etc.
I never got into golf (too pedestrian) but tennis can be a heck of a workout.
I think my favorite team sport as an adult is ultimate frisbee... it's a LOT of running, non-contact, the person with the disc gets to be the "quarterback" if only for a few seconds, and there is a huge variety of throws (backhand, forehand, hammer, scoober, thumber, duck, ...) that one can throw relatively straight or outside-in or inside-out so there is a lot more variety than throwing a ball.
Sep 10, 2009 at 11:32 p.m.
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Gym class sucked back in the early 70's. Mandatory attendance every year in violent "games" just gave class bullies license to beat on you, tackle you, and throw things at you. I hated the stink of the shower room and the screaming of the cadets (coach-wanna-be students given even more license to harass their classmates), plus the animosity of those full of "team spirit" if you didn't go along with the mindless chanting and cheering at the pep rallies (mandatory attendance). Students and even a few teachers would stare at you like they were Imams and you had just stepped into their Mosque wearing Star of David earrings and carrying a pig.
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Anything done to de-emphasize the violent sports of boxing, football, wrestling, and hockey is an improvement. Anything done to tone down the false hopes of "big money in the majors" sports such as basketball and baseball is an improvement.
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Turn the team sports back into hobby sports and end the mindset that it's ok to place sports bets, take steroids, or run dogfighting rings on the side, as long as you're a major talent on a team.
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If you simply must have a physical education class, Plastics has the right idea. Offer activities that students can continue with as adults. Do any of the local schools have bicycling in their gym classes? Learning how to properly shift gears while using a form of green transportation is far more beneficial than learning how to not double-dribble a basketball. Want to really prepare students for adulthood? Have a class in firearms education. More students are going to come in contact with a handgun than a football in their adult life. Better they should learn how to load/unload, safely handle, and if necessary, shoot a firearm than learn how to throw a forward pass.
Sep 10, 2009 at 10:10 p.m.
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Lighten up Joe, I was making a joke.
Sep 10, 2009 at 10:10 p.m.
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Great read Jim! I am with you 100% I used to get kicked out of gym for tackling during flag football, and running over the catcher during softball. Yes, I was that kid. As far as the showering goes, I used to question the need when all we did was take a written test and watch an instructional video. I will never forget the gym teacher exclaiming, "Shower up!". I also was puzzled when we went bowling for gym? All in all I am glad you refreshed all of my Al Bundy Polk High memories. That said, after rereading this, I think the underlying message is that you miss wearing those short shorts.
Sep 10, 2009 at 7:04 p.m.
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I loved bomberball!! I the happiest days were when it rained and we had to stay in and play bomberball. What does bomberball teach you? It teaches you to pay attention! I am not sure what battleball is, maybe plastics can tell us more about it, sounds fun.
The need to put phyiscal back into phyiscal education. None of this everyone gets a medal crap..sometimes you lose.
Sep 10, 2009 at 4:27 p.m.
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Jim, I agree 1000%, and you don't need to apologize for calling it like you see it. It's the mollycoddling self-righteous liberals like WiGrf who can never leave well enough alone. They're in the same camp with those who think everyone should get a trophy after participating, that the score shouldn't be kept so no feelings are hurt, and that girls should be allowed in the Boy Scouts. Their kind believes it's all right to imply you're a caveman, but bristles when you suggest marriage is reserved for a man and woman. I happen to think the majority of society agrees with you, but I recognize that Plastics makes a good point as well. Congratulations on a great article, and keep up the good work.
Sep 10, 2009 at 3:33 p.m.
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Hey Jim, did you like "running the hill" in jr high gym class?
Sep 10, 2009 at 3:06 p.m.
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Wow, reading this was a downer.
Glory days, they'll pass ya by...
Sep 10, 2009 at 2:46 p.m.
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Jim - My husband and I graduated from Milton in the early 1980's. He regularly tells my son stories about the "good old days" of having gym class with those coaches. Glad you shared your story. Must be a guy thing. :))
Sep 10, 2009 at 2:39 p.m.
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Hey Jim,
Sounds like I live with your clone! Definately understand where your coming from and yes...I am from the "female side of the isle" but take no offense to your pig trough ways. Boys definately need an outlet for all that testosterone and gym class as we knew it, offered it. As a youngster, I loved playing the "boy games", but must admit I didn't like taking a hit. Never could understand how boys could withstand (and worship?) physical pain from play or war...yet became the biggest babies ever when they got sick!!!
Sep 10, 2009 at 2:28 p.m.
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And they only go to Phy. Ed. for one semester. They should have some sort of physical fitness for the whole school year. Maybe let them go old school for a semester and teach them the new style for a semester. I am sure most of the young men in the school would appreciate that. By the way, whatever happened to the square dance class?
Sep 10, 2009 at 2 p.m.
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I recall 2 of the 3 gentlemen mentioned as teachers and friends. They were the BEST ROLE MODELS for myself and my son & they taught us respect.
Sep 10, 2009 at 1:57 p.m.
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I recall 2 of the 3 mentioned as teachers and friends (this surely dates me) and they were THE BEST role models, for myself and my son. Jim is right..those were the days.
Sep 10, 2009 at 11:57 a.m.
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Wow, for a guy who wears make-up on stage I thought you'd be a bit more "metro".
Sep 10, 2009 at 11:13 a.m.
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Allow me to set down my slops bucket for Jim's trough so I can applaud Plastics' post.
Well put!
Now, if we can only get those boys back in the shower...
PE should not be spelled PU.
Sep 10, 2009 at 9:34 a.m.
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Times are changing. But consider this: Do you still play battleball as an adult? Do you still wrestle? A lot of what is being introduced into Phys-Ed cirricula is aimed at things kids can take into adult life, like golf, tennis, swimming, and yes, even yoga. Battleball kills an hour, gives the kids a good sweat, and entertains them for that day. Introduce them to a sport they may never have played or an exercise program they may never have tried, and you might get them doing a healthy activity for life.
Sep 10, 2009 at 8:43 a.m.
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Jim,
You're living proof that you can take the man out of the cave but not the...
By the way, paragraph three "one...who thinks"
Sep 10, 2009 at 8:28 a.m.
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I'm on the female side of the aisle & I HATED every day of gym class @ Milton~but they don't make men like those three anymore!!! Great Guys! Coach Schleim even taight my driver's ed class!
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