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Stop the presses

According to Healics, Inc., I'm as healthy as a horse.

Weight? Great.

Blood sugars? Sweet numbers.

Cholesterol? I can skip the Cheerios and keep eating my regular diet.

Blood pressure? It only skyrockets on deadline.

Terminal cancerous tumor on my liver? Oh yeah, it's still there.

But, ironically, I somehow managed to score 82 points out of 100 on a scale created by Healics to measure a person's general health.

This is the third year that our employer, Bliss Communications, has required workers on the company's health insurance plan to undergo a health risk assessment. If you get a good score, you're eligible for a $10 discount per paycheck on our company's health insurance premium.

So, even though I piled up more than $345,000 in medical expenses in 2008, I'm eligible for the discount because my score on the scale jumped from 55 a year ago to 82.

How'd that happen? In the last year, my cancer and related medical issues caused me to lose 75 pounds. I got a 12-point scoring bonus for that - enough to push me over the magic number of 71 and earn the discount.

Healics, a Wisconsin-based company, conducts health risk assessments nationwide. The HRAs help workers target personal areas of concern. If you get lousy numbers, you can try to do something about it. As I learned with my cancer, the sooner you can recognize a problem, the better your chances of doing something about it.

On an unrelated topic, I want to talk about a little tradition that takes place in the Hematology/Oncology treatment room at Janesville's Mercy Hospital.

Whenever a patient has a birthday, the nurses score a piece of cake from the hospital cafeteria, light a candle and then sing "Happy Birthday."

When you're younger, certain birthdays have accompanying milestones. At 16, you can get a driver's license. At 17, you can officially see R-rated movies. At 18, you can vote. At 21, you get to legally drink.

Eventually, the birthdays blend together. But when you're diagnosed with cancer, every birthday becomes a milestone.

Anyhow, my 47th birthday fell on Sunday, March 1.

I was scheduled for chemotherapy the next day. Needless to say, I was shocked when I got to the hospital and discovered that my parents had driven to Janesville from Dubuque, Iowa. My mom had baked a pineapple upside-down cake. She also had a container of Cool Whip, plastic forks and small plates. Everybody in chemo got to enjoy mom's cake.

I got a wonderful surprise.

And the nurses' rendition of "Happy Birthday" was awesome.

I bet you can't guess what I wished for when I blew out the candle.

Everybody keep fighting.

We'll see you soon.