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Love beyond hearts and flowers

In gardening news: On Saturday, the Tall Man and I are going to the Garden Expo. Last year I thought it was overrated—I’m giving it one more chance.

In Valentine’s Day news: For a story for Monday’s paper, I interviewed local pastors about what makes a marriage successful.

Turns out, the answer is not an endless supply of Tator Tots.

As I was calling around, I connected with the Rev. Michael Jackson of the New Life Assembly of God. He referred me to the Rev. Todd Pope, New Life’s family ministry pastor, who provided some thought-provoking ideas about happiness, compatibility and a metaphorical guy named Bob.

New Life is one of my favorite places to call for theological insight. Frist, they’re willing to call me back. Most ministers consider journalists godless devil’s spawn.

Second, although I suspect Pastor Jackson and I disagree on major theological tenets, but if he’s right and I’m wrong, I suspect he’d put a word in for me with the Almighty. It’s nice to have a back-up plan.

Although I’d probably be struck by lighting if I ever attended a service at New Life (stand back or risk secondary burns), I’ve developed affection for the congregation and its leadership. None of the mainstream denominations I’ve attended have been as welcoming of the broken, the downtrodden and the friendless.

Anyway, back to Valentine’s Day and the nature of married love. Everyday, Pastor Jackson provides a two-minute devotional for WFEN radio, 88.3 FM out of Rockford at approximately 7:46 a.m. and 4:15 p.m. Recently, he spoke about his wife Marilyn’s cancer. It’s a beautifully written valentine.

Disclaimer/threat: Don’t even think about saying something rude about these nice people unless you want me to hunt you down and give you an extremely unchristian smack in the melon. Thanking you in advance, Catherine W. Idzerda.

Cancer Causes Other Problems
By Pastor Michael Jackson

On October 29, my wife was told that she had cancer. Since then, the cancer has been removed and we have been told that she will be fine. She and I have been married for 41 years; I am hoping for another 41. I love my lady more than words can say.

Anyway, since her brush with cancer, I have noticed something. Things that once might have incited a “discussion” no longer seem to matter. At least, they do not matter near as much as she matters. Then too, since she developed the cancer, I have discovered that I have come up with a number of maladies of my own.

I have, for instance, become “deaf” to certain things in our marriage. For instance, she used to say, “you know?” a lot. You know? I don’t remember the last time I heard her say that silly little phrase. I am just thrilled to be able to hear her voice.

Blindness has now invaded our house as well. Neither one of us hardly notices the petty little annoyances that use to bug the two of us. Granted, we had a great marriage prior to the cancer. Please don’t get me wrong. But it is better now that we do not see so well.

Both of us have also lost our ability to talk at times. Certain words, hurtful words, used to be thrown around carelessly. Not often, mind you. But enough. Neither one of us have the ability to say such words anymore. It is almost as if we have become mute.

Oh, I didn’t know that cancer could make a person forgetful. However, it seems as if my wife no longer has any faults whatsoever. I have forgotten both of them.

One thing that has not be affected, though, is my heart. It still races when I see her. It still flutters when I hear her voice. And it still skips a beat when we kiss.

Why must we wait until it is almost too late to stop and appreciate what we have – and could have lost?