Big money, gone

By ANN MARIE AMES   Wednesday, July 18, 2012 - 3:10 p.m.

I ran across a couple of theft reports this week that made me do double takes.

--A rural Milton man reported an assault rifle and $6,000 in cash stolen from his truck. The cash was in $1 bills in a bank bag.

Ouch. I do not have $6,000 in ones in my truck. I don’t have $6,000. (Or a truck.) I feel bad for the rural Milton man who no longer does, either.

-- An unidentified person left a Janesville grocery store at 5:35 p.m. July 16 with a cart full of Marlboro cigarettes and soft drinks. The merchandise was valued at $2,337.

That’s not easy. I can’t remember the last time I saw unguarded cigarettes in a grocery store. Or anywhere else, for that matter. I think it might be cheaper to smoke gold.

(Please. Don't smoke gold. I'd have to feel bad about that, too.)

Finally, a crane was reported stolen at 12:26 p.m. July 13 from a business on Janesville's northeast side.

Yes. A crane. A giant blue one.

Police are investigating whether it was a paperwork mix-up or an orchestrated theft. A huge, slow orchestrated theft.

reader COMMENTS
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(1)
birdman
Feb 7, 2013 at 10:20 p.m.
Suggest removal

Geeze, how would you find a fence for a big crane . . . presuming you'd be bold enough to steel one, anyhow?

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