Evansville...right on ! I will put my family first every time, then if I have time for this God thing, so be it.

Donnaw: He/She writes that you keep YOUR priorities straight. Her whole post is about how if you don;t have GOd first, you don;t have anything. That is judgemental and exclusive of atheists: the way it is written it clearly states that God comes before even your family's needs: that is actually pretty sick. Just like I know plenty of atheists that have wonderful lives, I know 'god fearing' folks that have made their kids eat rice so they can give their cash to god. God is usually a wealthy preacher with a nice car, by the way.

Evans... the article is about what works for each of us, not that we all have to have the same beliefs to be happy in life. Your comments are over the top and cruel. It's her belief system and the last time I looked it was a free country. It works for her and a whole lot of other people so lighten up.

LOL@ Carrisford. Apparently Atheists are living horribly unpurposeful lives with their children.
I'll have to inform doctors, mothers, attorneys, judges. etc I know that atheism has ruined their lives. Along with their happy, beautiful, and wonderful successful children they managed to raise....

"How about those dads that vacuum, mow the lawn, do laundry, change the oil in the cars, dress the kids and take them to daycare, paint the house, do the landscaping, cook supper, fix the bikes and get up early to make the lunches?"
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My husband does a lot of the above. We split the chores up according to who is home when, and who is better at each task. He has to be to work very early, so I handle the morning routine of getting the kids ready, packing lunches, etc. He gets home before I do, so he picks the kids up, runs errands to business that close before I get home, etc. He hates cooking, so I do it, and then he does the dishes. I hate hauling eleventy-million pounds of laundry up and down the basement stairs, so he handles that, while I pick up the house.
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Neither one of us can complain that we work harder than the other because we're both working our fannies off. At least with both of us handling things, we get done faster and have more free time left over at the end of the day.

My wife and I both worked full time when our kids were young and we split the chores as evenly as possible.

I feel sad for those married full time mothers who have to do all of the above by themselves.

How about those dads that vacuum, mow the lawn, do laundry, change the oil in the cars, dress the kids and take them to daycare, paint the house, do the landscaping, cook supper, fix the bikes and get up early to make the lunches?

An objection to this article is that it suggests that the working Mom has to do all the housework. My husband and I, along with the kids have always been a team. We shared all the chores, including cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work and caring about and for each other. I worked full-time from the time the youngest was barely 3, and couldn't have done it without my husband and kid's help at home. Yes, kids as young as 3 can help sort and fold laundry, wash (plastic) dishes, set the table, and pick up their toys.

This is not to degrade the stay-at-home moms who spend a lot of their time as room-mothers at schools, and volunteer in many other ways in the community. They, too, must share their at-home time and know that having the family work as a team works best for everyone.

Years ago I read somewhere that if you can get your house presentable enough for your pastor on 15-minutes' notice, it's clean enough -- and that works for us!

I think its ok to be a stay at home mom if you can afford it..thats great! If you are recieving any kind of aid or welfare I do not think it is accpetable to stay at home. I shouldnt have to foot the bill for you to take care of a child that you wernt financially prepared to care for. I dont like paying for others mistakes (mistake being your lack or preperation, not the child).

I agree its a difficult task, but why just mothers? There are fathers as well that work. And also im not sure if any sympathy should be given because having a child is your choice. If you choose to have a child you need to either make sure you are financially capable of it or have the ability to be a mother/father while working. Its a lot of work... but unless you have a woops kid its what you asked for.

Everything is possible if you keep your priorities straight: God comes first. Period. Your family comes second. Period. After that, is your personal mix of school and/or work. Sometimes if you take classes AND work, you have to balance which one is more important at any given moment, but it's all about perspective. If you can't keep your faith, you have no bigger picture (why are we DOING all this anyway? Oh, to make the world a better place!), and if you don't make your family come first, you will not be happy when you look back. Some moms believe the way to do that is by staying home and I believe they are absolutely right. I also believe working moms are absolutely right, so long as they remember that kids are young only once and if you blink, you miss things. Therefore, when my son comes home from pre-school, it's all about him, not about my work or school (though minor multi-tasking sometimes happens with his "consent"). After he's in bed, it can be about work or school again. As for me, I have several advanced degrees, but I figured out that I could not do certain jobs for which I am qualified and still put God first and my family second because of the hours required to perform those jobs. As a result, I found something that uses one of my OTHER (less financially rewarding) degrees and I'm happier, though we have less money than we would have had had I put my career first. Keeping a healthy perspective makes it easier to be happy. Money itself doesn't buy happiness (though it helps, surely), so higher-salary moms who can still keep God and the family first are the ones I am in awe of because that's some real juggling!

Not only am I a full time working mother, but a happily divorced mother that has a full time hustle as well. (Author, blogging, running a large organization outside of the benefit job)

I get hit with that question all the time and I have to tell you I had to break my days into not just hours or minutes, but down to seconds.

Around my home, it takes seconds to do things

Saying thank you
Picking up after yourself
Making my life easier

Everything is seconds and its made my life a little easier.

Another tip is appreciation.

As a happily divorced mother of three kids (two teens and one ten year old) I hated coming home to my "sanctuary" and smelling kids or walking over things that were not mine. Not desirable and not welcoming at at all.

So I pushed appreciation to everything I provided.

I let them know if I'm spending 75% of my paycheck on anything I want to appreciate it and if they don't respect my "sanctuary" they would not be there for long and they can't take what they bought and leave.

It was a bluff but it worked. Of course i'm still the mommy saying clean up, stop this, do something, but after that speech (and a little reminders full of guilt or threats) I was given the appreciation by them that I needed to make my life easier.

Thirdly, respect. My favorite line around the house is that you don't have to love me, but you do have to respect me. Whether I'm around or not, you represent me and I swear I'll tear open a new hole if I find out my child was doing something that got back to my ears by someone else.

In this accord, my children will kill themselves to report if they've been bad. Tell on each other and also make sure if I'm not around, I hear only glowing reports to how wonderful they were.

The last thing would be to always use lotion EVERYDAY. I know you just cackled when I said that, but I found a way to always remember to take care of me every day. The minute I stopped using lotion I stopped taking care of my skin. I stopped caring about my looks. I stopped caring about being happy.

I became depressed and miserable.

I found the source of this was when I stopped using lotion.

Everytime I touch over my legs, apply to my arms, take care of my skin, I remember that I'm a person. I'm not just a mommy, savior, head of household or woman that is supposed to be there for everyone else. I'm Sylvia. A beautiful, smart intelligent person who deserves to be happy every minute of every day.

I don't say I'm a perfect mother, but I do what works for me and what helps me be happy. I found that finding happiness is not selfish, but necessary as a working parent that has to handle so much responsibility on their shoulders.

I distinguish between repetitive time wasters like laundry and one time things that move us forward like applying to grad school. I do a lot of repetitive household things in auto-pilot while podcasting, rate many things as low priority, and accept 70% as clean enough. I have just a few things that are high priority and I focus fervently on those things. For example, it is a priority to go to the gym 4-5 days a week. I use the gym daycares...more time away from the kids, but the upside is they see me making time for me and modelling fitness as non-negotiable. Getting an advanced degree is also a high priority for me and I am starting a PhD program in the fall. Our family does everything together from grocery shopping to attending summer weddings-we are a tight unit during our off time. I also force my husband to share the responsibility of being a working parent. There is no reason why being a working mom should be amazing, but being a working dad should be standard. We went into this parenting thing as a joint venture after all.