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Don't Be a Sheep

My daughter’s preschool, Rock Prairie Montessori School, recently hosted a Parent Education Night. This idea tickles me. It reminds me of when I took a Family Dog Training class with my new puppy, and the first thing they said to us was, “This class is about training the family just as much as the dog.” Well. Yes. I humbly agree.

But back to parent education. The Head of School, Ms. Martha Carver, covered a lot of ground in the hour-long session. She discussed the importance of enough sleep and a variety of nutritious foods for our children, the need for small children to have a sense of security through routine and order, communicating effectively with our children’s teachers, and having high expectations of our kids.

Mistakes, she said, are opportunities to learn. Wise words, best said repeatedly and often to oneself, particularly when you feel your pulse rising in response to something your child is doing that is NOT OKAY.

It was all great information. But the message that leaped out at me-- the words that stuck in my brain after I left, like paper to paste-- was this:

“Don’t be a sheep.”

In other words, be a thoughtful parent. Do not go along with what “everyone else is doing” just because everyone else is doing it. Chances are, NOT everyone else it doing it, and, if everyone jumped off the proverbial cliff, would you? Certainly not, unless you are a lemming. But wait. We were talking sheep.

Believe in yourself. According to Ms. Martha, “parental intuition is the most important thing you have.” If something feels wrong, from a particular discipline strategy to how best to care for your newborn, listen to that still voice springing from your inner self. There is so much noise bombarding us on a daily, hourly, continual basis, that the internal voice can easily be lost. So many experts, so many conflicting imperatives.

You absolutely must do X. Then, a week or month or year later: Oh, no, that’s completely wrong. You really must do Y and never ever do X. Wait, wait, now the research shows that Z is really the thing to do. Our understanding of ourselves and our world is in constant evolution.

It is good, I think, to listen and take in all the disparate voices on parenting, but then evaluate. Tune out the noise and tune in to what you know deep down to be right or true. Choose deliberately. Do your best.

Mistakes are learning opportunities. (For parents too.) Don’t be a sheep. Listen to everyone’s advice, and then aim to parent from your instincts.

Be a sheep when it makes sense, but otherwise, don’t be afraid to be a wolf.

Dana Petersen Murphy is a stay-at-home-mother who lives Janesville. Dana is a community blogger and is not a part of Janesville Gazette staff. Her opinion is not necessarily that of the Janesville Gazette staff or management.