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Let there be light

In general, I’m not a big bug fan.

When I was in elementary school and some kid who’d been digging in the dirt would come running in from the playground with a spider or a caterpillar in his palms, I was the one telling him from the corner about the diseases he could expect to pick up.

I’ve mellowed some in my adult life, to the point where I have to do some soul-searching before killing a spider in my house. (A small one, mind you.)

But there’s one insect I’ve always been happy to encounter, and thanks to all the rain in June, they’re all over the place.

I’m talking about the firefly, of course (which, technically, is a type of beetle).

Growing up in Minnesota, in the city, I never saw them when I was a kid. I never saw one when I was going to school in Milwaukee. We first met when I moved to Janesville two and a half years ago and realized one night that my backyard was transmitting Morse code.

I like fireflies because we have a lot in common: They don’t bite, and I don’t bite. They have no pincers at all, and neither do I. They don’t attack humans, and I’m, like, the nicest person alive. They carry no diseases, and I carry no diseases ... as a general rule. They don’t even really fly; more than anything, they hover. I certainly don’t fly. Believe me, I’ve tried, and, being sadly lacking in wings, I tend to make swift and painful contact with the floor.

Fireflies have been a part of Wisconsin culture forever. In fact, one city was even named after the bugs: The Potawatomi word for the firefly is wauwatosa.

And then there’s the light.

According to the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources:

The light given off is called bioluminescence. Fireflies produce luciferin in their abdomens. When they want to light up, they let oxygen in, which oxidizes the luciferin and gives off the light.

It’s basically the biological equivalent of a glow stick.

A series of reflectors in the abdomen helps make the light brighter. Light from fireflies is incredibly efficient; 96 percent of the energy is converted to light. Your standard light bulb loses about 90 percent of its energy to heat. If the fireflies were that inefficient, they would certainly meet a crispy end.

Like most mechanisms in the living world, there’s a definite purpose to the light. It’s used to find a mate.

A male firefly whirs around your yard, flashing a distinct pattern to attract females of the same species (there are thousands of species). The females hang out on the ground, waiting to be wooed. Once she catches sight of an eligible bachelor, the female flashes the same pattern back to the male. They do this a few times just to get the details worked out ("Will you call me in the morning?" "Do I have to meet your parents?" "Do you prefer horror movies or romantic comedies?"), and then the male descends to mate with the female.

The guy’s just trying to get a date.

But he has to be careful.

Normally, if a male and female flash different patterns at one another, they won’t mate because they’re not from the same species. But some females have learned to mimic the flash patterns of other species in order to lure the males. When they get there, the females eat them.

So the next time you’re on a date that turns out to be less than stellar (girl doesn't like anything on the menu; guy talks about his ex too much), just remember ... it could end up a whole lot worse. Then again, if you're hitting on strangers by flashing them, I guess you'll get what you deserve.