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Youth mentoring program seeks more male volunteers

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Photo by Dan Lassiter

Big brother Mike Stade plays video games with little brother Forest Breuer, 11, at a Janesville restaurant.

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Photo by Dan Lassiter

Forest Breur, 11, chats with his Big Brother Mike Stade as the two eat pizza at a Janesville restaurant.

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JANESVILLE — Mike Stade knows what it's like to grow up in a single-parent household.

"I saw my dad every other weekend, and not having him be there for games—it's always stuck with me," the 28-year-old Janesville man said.

That's why Stade became a volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters.

Mary Lima, a Janesville single mother of four, is glad he did.

Her 11-year-old son Forest Breuer is Stade's little brother.

Many other boys here need a big brother like Stade.

In recent years, an average of 42 youth have been on waiting lists for an adult mentor. Of those, almost 75 percent are boys, said JoLynn Burden, marketing/fund development coordinator of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Rock, Walworth and Jefferson Counties.

"It's easier to get more women to volunteer, and we have more boys come into the program," she said.

Most of the boys come from homes where the mother heads the household. They typically wait 18 months to be matched with a mentor, Burden said.

The Beloit-based nonprofit organization has 52 volunteer matches, it needs many more, she said.

Since Stade and Forest were matched in early 2011, Lima said her son has developed more self-confidence and trust—especially of adult men. That's important, she said, because there are no healthy male role models in her family.

Lima likes knowing program adult volunteers aren't paid to spend time with her son.

"They're doing it because they want to," she said.

The two to five hours a week Stade spends one-on-one with Forest is important, Lima said.

"I can't give 'em too much individual time," she said.

Stade and Forest play miniature golf, bowl and go to the movies. They also work on projects around the house such as hanging window blinds and raking leaves and helped Stade's sister move from her college dorm.

"They're activities he might be able to use later in life," Stade said.

Being a volunteer with the program isn't time consuming or expensive, he said.

"It's just a few hours a week to make a difference and doesn't cost a lot of money. You do what you choose to do," Stade said.

"Going to the library, doing homework together and going to the park are all things that don't cost money, just time," he said.

Forest has grown more comfortable with Stade and often is waiting in the window when he knows Stade will be picking him up.

"Around my wife and his mom, it's typical for him to not talk much," Stade said. "But around me, he doesn't stop talking."