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Program shares etiquette for interacting with the disabled

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Kristin Larson

JANESVILLE — How do you bring up the subject of a person’s disability without making him or her uncomfortable?

For starters, don’t blurt it out in a crowd of people, said Kristin Larson, a wheelchair user who has seen and heard her share of inappropriate words and actions.

Of course, that’s just good manners, which is one of Larson’s rules: If it’s good etiquette for one person, it’s good for another—disability or no.

Larson will speak about interacting with people who have disabilities Friday, Jan. 27, at Blackhawk Technical College.

Larson, 28, was diagnosed with the chronic illness Lupus at age 17. The diagnosis included a secondary complication of transverse myelitis, which caused paralysis.

She went on to graduate from high school and college. Today she works at the Mercy Health System Foundation, organizing fundraisers for the House of Mercy center for the homeless and for Mercy Hospice Care.

Larson stresses one overarching principle: Focus on the person, not the disability. She agreed to discuss a few of her tips before the presentation at BTC, including:

-- Respect personal space: Don’t push or touch a wheelchair without being invited. Don’t hang your coat on the back of a wheelchair. Don’t ask a person in a wheelchair to hold your things. Don’t pat a wheelchair user on the head.

Really?

“You’d be surprised,” she said.

-- Don’t assume the mind is as impaired as the body. People with cerebral palsy or a stroke for example, might have slurred speech, but that doesn’t mean their minds aren’t sharp.

-- Don’t use certain words that were are no longer acceptable, including “crippled,” “handicapped” and “retarded.”

-- Don’t say “physically challenged” or “differently abled,” as those are jargon.

“Just try to put the person first, so “person with a disability” is usually the safest bet,” she said.

-- If you have to refer to the disability by name, ask what the person prefers, “but make sure you do it in subtle manner, maybe take the person aside and ask what they prefer,” Larson said.

-- Don’t say “confined to a wheelchair.”

“It doesn’t actually confine them. It liberates them,” Larson said.

-- Don’t use the words “victim” or “sufferer,” which are negative and disempowering.

-- Remember that people have preferences. Larson is happy to answer questions about how she gets around, but others may not be so willing.

Larson said she will touch on a variety of disabilities in her presentation, including people with vision and hearing deficits, Tourette syndrome, people of short stature and disabilities that are not immediately apparent.

Larson said she also will discuss disabilities in the workplace and how employers should be thoughtful in making accommodations for possibilities such as evacuations.