Janesville66.4°

Here’s to the old year!

Print Print
Rick Horowitz
December 27, 2011

So he’s like, “Any year that ends with one less Osama bin Laden is a good year as far as I’m concerned.”


And I’m like, “Absolutely!” The only thing wrong with that guy sleeping with the fishes is I feel sorry for the fishes!


So then he’s like, “Good riddance!” And I’m like, “Absolutely!” And we drink a toast to 2011.


So then he’s like, “And Qaddafi—any year that gets rid of Qaddafi is a good year as far as I’m concerned.”


And I’m like, “Absolutely!” all over again. And then I’m like, “And Mubarak, too!” And he’s like, “But Mubarak’s still alive,” and I’m like, “Yeah, but still…”


So he thinks about it for a sec, and then he’s like, “Good enough!” and we drink another toast to 2011.


So then he’s like, “What about Putin?” and I’m like, “What about Putin?” And he’s like, “Well, they didn’t get rid of him yet, but they’re in the streets complaining about him.”


And I’m like, “Yeah, but still…” But he’s like, “Any year that’s got thousands of Russians in the streets complaining about Putin is a good year as far as I’m concerned.”


So we drink another toast to 2011. But first we find the vodka.


So then he’s like, “Any year Bill Clinton doesn’t expect Hillary home for dinner every night is a good year as far as I’m concerned.” And I’m like, “Absolutely!” cause it means she gets to go places and say things even when some people in those places don’t want to hear them.


So we drink a toast to Hillary, and we even drink a toast to Bill, ’cause if Bill wasn’t Bill, she might want to stay home more.


So then he’s like, “Any year we get our troops home from Iraq is a good year as far as I’m concerned.” And I’m like, “But the Iraqis are still fighting over there,” and he’s like, “Yeah, but it isn’t our fight anymore, that’s the main thing.”


So I think about it for a sec, and I’m like, “Good enough!” and we drink a toast to all the troops coming home after all this time, and another toast to all the troops that never made it home.


That shuts us up for a while, just thinking about stuff.


And then he’s changing the subject, and he’s like, “Complaining in the streets!” And I’m like, “Occupy!” and he’s like, “Any year that’s got thousands of Americans in the streets complaining about Wall Street is a good year as far as I’m concerned.” And I’m like, “But the whole thing’s still rigged against the little guy!” And he’s like, “Yeah, but at least they’re noticing how rigged it is, and they’re getting ticked off about it—it’s a lot better than only talking about cutting things!”


So we drink a toast to noticing, and another toast to getting ticked off. And another toast to changing the conversation from cutting more things to being more fair. And another toast to the greedy ones being so greedy and the crazies being so crazy that everyone had to notice.


So then he’s like, “Any year that Obama shows some backbone against the greedies and the crazies is a good year as far as I’m concerned.” And I’m like, “Yeah, but it wasn’t until December that he finally stood up to them!” and he’s like, “December still counts, as long as it happened.” And I’m like, “It definitely happened!” So we drink a toast to backbone, and another toast to standing up.


Then we both fall down.


Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at rickhoro@execpc.com.

Print Print