Perry gets in; poison levels rise
He’s Donald Trump with shinier hair.
He’s Michele Bachmann without the eyeliner.
He’s also Joe McCarthy with a smoother shave.
He’s Rick Perry, and he wants to be president of the United States, and in less than two weeks on the campaign trail, he’s shown exactly why he shouldn’t be.
General rule of thumb? A candidate who spouts that much toxic nonsense in that short a time is either too dumb to be president or too dangerous to be president.
Rick Perry is the exception to the rule: He’s too dumb and too dangerous to be president.
On the Dumb List: Rick Perry and global warming—he doesn’t buy it. The evidence be damned, the scientists be damned—they’re just making it up to get more money!
hen there’s Rick Perry and evolution—just “a theory that’s out there,” he says. In his Texas, school kids can decide for themselves. What’s next? A proclamation repealing gravity?
But where Rick Perry really shines (the way an oil slick shines, but anyway) is on the Dangerous List. It’s not every candidate, after all, who’s just as proficient at the blustering bombast as he is at the poisonous innuendo.
The chairman of the Federal Reserve is thinking of easing the money supply to help the country climb out of the recession?
“I don’t know what you all would do to him in Iowa,” Rick Perry declares, “but we would treat him pretty ugly down in Texas.”
Printing more money would be almost “treasonous,” Rick Perry declares. Not wrong-headed. Not counter-productive. “Treasonous.”
And the president? What does he think about the president?
“I think the greatest threat to our country right now is this president,” Rick Perry declares.
Rick Perry disagrees with Barack Obama’s spending priorities; Rick Perry doesn’t see the need for more economic stimulus. So the president is “the greatest threat to our country right now.”
But at least the bombast is out in the open. You can hear it in all its hyperventilated, squint-and-swagger glory, and you can dismiss it as one more raving from the unhinged fringe.
The innuendo is something else again.
“The president had the opportunity to serve his country, I’m sure, at some time,” Rick Perry observes, “and he made the decision that that wasn’t what he wanted to do.”
(Rick Perry served his country; he flew cargo planes for the Air Force 30-odd years ago. Thanks for your service, governor.)
(Barack Obama pushed for, reviewed, sharpened, and gave the final go-ahead for the daring plan that killed Osama bin Laden. For instance. Thanks for your service, Mr. President? Or doesn’t Rick Perry watch the news?)
“One of the powerful reasons that I’m running for the presidency of the United States,” Rick Perry explains at another point, “is to make sure that every young man and woman who puts on the uniform of this country respects highly the president of the United States.”
So is he suggesting that the military doesn’t respect the current president? The current commander in chief? He denies it.
He’s just sayin’.
Just like he’s just sayin’ when he declares that the American people want a president who is “passionate” about the country and “is in love with America.” And then, when he’s asked whether he thinks Barack Obama doesn’t love America, he says, “You need to ask him. I’m saying you’re a good reporter—go ask him.”
This from a guy who has threatened—not once, but several times—to secede from the Union.
And he’s going to lecture us about loving this country?! They grow ’em nervy in Texas, but…
Ladies and gentlemen, the Rick Perry Campaign! If the doofus doesn’t scare you, then the demagogue will.
Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at firstname.lastname@example.org.