Thrashed by an olive branch

By RICK HOROWITZ   Thursday, April 14, 2011
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[Deep inside Battle Station GOP…]

“What the hell was that all about?”

“I don’t believe it! Do you believe it?”

“No way!”

“No way! If he’s gonna give a budget speech, then it oughta be a budget speech—not a campaign speech!”

“And he shouldn’t have the presidential seal up there! That wasn’t a presidential speech, it was…”

“…a campaign speech!”

“Absolutely!”

“The nerve of this guy! And with Ryan sitting right there in the front row!”

“He invited him! He invited Ryan, and he invited Hensarling, and they had to just sit there and listen to all that…that…”

“All that political stuff! Exactly!”

“When he was supposed to be offering them an olive branch!”

“Exactly! If he thinks that’s the way to get bipartisanship, he’s nuts.”

“The way to get bipartisanship is the way we always get bipartisanship: We push, and he retreats.”

“We push some more, and he caves in.”

“And then we push some more.”

“Exactly!”

“But this pushing-back business? What’s that about? Somebody must have gotten to him.”

“It’s totally out of character.”

“Calling us ‘pessimists’? And we’re ruining Medicare?”

“Turning our back on ‘commitments’?”

“And on the American Dream?”

“The nerve of this guy!”

“He was supposed to be reaching out—he was supposed to be showing everyone how much he wants to work with us.”

“Exactly! He was supposed to roll over.”

“There’s still time for that.”

“You think?”

“It’s just one speech—he’s still got time to roll over.”

“You think?”

“Absolutely.”

“You don’t think he’s finally figured it out?”

“Of course not.”

“He still thinks he can reason with us?”

“Doesn’t he always think he can reason with us?”

“Except this time—this time sounded different.”

“Which is why it had to be an accident. Or somebody got to him. The unions, or Pelosi, or…”

“…NPR.”

“Or Soros.”

“Somebody got to him.”

“Did you ever hear anyone so political?”

“That’s what gets me: Isn’t he supposed to be above politics?”

“Absolutely!”

“If you’re above politics, you don’t go around scaring seniors and scaring college students, am I right?”

“You don’t go around scaring parents with sick kids. And you…”

“Disgusting!”

“…you certainly don’t beat up on the people who create all the jobs.”

“We need to lower their taxes, not raise them! And for him to say the tax cuts are all coming right out of Granny’s wallet?”

“It’s pandering, plain and simple. Nothing but pandering!”

“So now we’ve gotta go calm Granny down again. I’m tired of calming Granny down—I thought we were through with that.”

“It’s nothing but pandering—it’s disgusting.”

“Especially if it works.”

“You think it’ll work?”

“Too soon to know.”

“Scaring people like that!”

“Slamming people like that!”

“That’s not his job!”

“That’s our job!”

“The nerve of this guy!”

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at rickhoro@execpc.com.

reader COMMENTS
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(20)
WalterReuther
Apr 17, 2011 at 11:35 p.m.
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instructor,
Your insecurity is showing. You might want to put that away. It's not very impressive.

mrbread
Apr 15, 2011 at 12:53 p.m.
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or, how about the cry for equality for wages and benefits from the republicans, which by the way sounds a lot like socialism. Followed by the cry the dems are the socialists. You can't have it both ways folks.

BunBun
Apr 15, 2011 at 12:46 p.m.
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We force ourselves to read this drivel, and your defense of it, in an attempt to comprehend the derangement of the liberal mind...It ain't working too well so far. All I get is "rich people suck" "poor people are opressed" "Republicans want to (kill or just hate: granny/Muslims/blacks/gays/women) or starve children..." "Socialism is great-just look at Europe" "we can tax and spend our way to prosperity" "if you don't want to pay more taxes, you hate children".

instructor
Apr 15, 2011 at 12:39 p.m.
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Sarah-I read the liberal and conservative columns to get both sides of the issue, unlike several people on this site.

Walt-Stop reading this, there's still world hunger to wipe out and the president's waiting for your solution to solve man's deep space exploration problems.

instructor
Apr 15, 2011 at 12:25 p.m.
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Walt-Wow, full of ourselves much? Wait, you'd better stop reading this so you can get back to curing cancer.

WalterReuther
Apr 15, 2011 at noon
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Badgerlvr,
I'm really not sure. Notice how they immediately start defending their own understanding of the column. It seems they're trying very hard to convince themselves more than anything.

WalterReuther
Apr 15, 2011 at 11:53 a.m.
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instructor,
Being smarter than commenters like you hardly warrants a self-congratulatory pat on the back. I save those for my bigger accomplishments that actually require some effort.

PanamaRed
Apr 15, 2011 at 10:23 a.m.
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Great post Walter.
-
Mr. Horowitz proves once again conservatives take themselves much too seriously.

unclesmoothie
Apr 15, 2011 at 8:50 a.m.
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I get the satire but I agree this guy is a hack...... I wish Mike Royko was still alive. Satire at it's unrivaled finest.

Badgerlvr
Apr 15, 2011 at 8:13 a.m.
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Walter: Do you think "any" of these bloggers understand satire? It certainly appears they don't.

instructor
Apr 15, 2011 at 7:56 a.m.
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Walt- I'm not confused at all, I just think he's full of crap. Don't hurt yourself patting yourself on the back on how smart you think you are. On second thought...

WalterReuther
Apr 15, 2011 at 6:37 a.m.
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The bite of satire has confused the sheep once again. Another brilliant one, Mr. Horowitz. Keep them coming!

donnaw
Apr 15, 2011 at 6:21 a.m.
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What slop!!

instructor
Apr 14, 2011 at 3:18 p.m.
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usaret-Don't worry, Horowitz sometimes likes to write about his imaginary right wing fantasy conversations he concocts in his head.

usaret
Apr 14, 2011 at 1:59 p.m.
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HuH?

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