Questions, questions: Discuss among yourselves

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Rick Horowitz
Thursday, September 23, 2010
So what’ll you do with all that extra money now that the recession is over?

And other things I’ve been wondering lately:

--If Barack Obama were named Barack Osanta, how long would it be before the GOP tried to repeal Christmas?

--Will teenage girls abstain from sex after watching Bristol Palin on “Dancing with the Stars”? (Will they abstain from watching TV?)

--Is there a single Tea Party story in all of journalism that doesn’t have either “brew,” “stir,” “boil,” “strong” or “weak” in the headline? How do you explain the oversight?

--When Harry Reid of Nevada calls Kirsten Gillibrand of New York “the hottest member” of the Senate, does he increase public belief in global warming? (How about John Boehner’s tan?)

--Do Harry Reid’s latest comments show him to have:

a) A sense of humor?

b) A sense of style?

c) No sense at all?

--If Republicans are on the verge of capturing the House of Representatives when a recent poll has them at a 20 percent approval rating, would they do even better if they were doing even worse?

--Bob Woodward reports in his latest book that Hamid Karzai, our man in Afghanistan, is a manic depressive. Why does that not surprise you?

--Is it better to have a president who’s dubious about what the military tells him, or a president who swallows it all without question?

--Would you rather have Bob Woodward inside your tent spitting out, or outside your tent spitting in?

--If Barack Obama’s hair is this gray after only two years, what will he look like after four?

--What percentage of the things Newt Gingrich says does Newt Gingrich actually believe?

--They threw Jonah overboard to calm the seas. Will throwing Larry Summers overboard have the same effect on the economy? (What if Larry Summers is the whale?)

--If “terrorist attacks that didn’t happen” is a valid measure of George Bush’s post-9/11 success on national security, why isn’t “jobs that weren’t lost” a valid measure of Barack Obama’s success on the economy?

--If somebody bought Mahmoud Ahmedinejad a necktie, would he wear it? And for that matter, how does he always manage to have a six-day beard?

--If—according to a recent survey—most Republicans prefer congressmen who don’t compromise with the other side, while most Democrats prefer congressmen who do, doesn’t that pretty much explain everything?
--If Christine O’Donnell keeps running for office to raise enough money to pay for her rent, does that make her a “career politician”?

--How difficult is it for Democrats to run for re-election while they’re curled up in the fetal position? Is “Afraid of Our Own Shadow” really an effective campaign slogan?

--In the middle of the night, does John McCain ever regret not choosing somebody boring for his running mate?

--Has there ever been a more perfect melding of person and platform than “Sarah Palin” and “Twitter”?

--Now that the new health care law means your children with pre-existing conditions won’t be denied insurance coverage, do you suddenly feel like a socialist?

--When people talk about “the elites,” do they really mean “the informed”?

--In 25 words or less: Why might it not be the best idea to make minority rights depend on a majority vote?

--What does Nancy Pelosi do for fun? How about after January?

--If you had a choice between spending an evening with Harry Reid or spending an evening with Mitch McConnell, would you shoot yourself?

--If tainted eggs can spread salmonella, can tainted salmon spread eggstacy?

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at rickhoro@execpc.com.

Last updated: 2:53 pm Thursday, December 13, 2012

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