Janesville47.3°

Questions, questions: Discuss among yourselves

Print Print
Rick Horowitz
September 23, 2010
So what’ll you do with all that extra money now that the recession is over?

And other things I’ve been wondering lately:


--If Barack Obama were named Barack Osanta, how long would it be before the GOP tried to repeal Christmas?


--Will teenage girls abstain from sex after watching Bristol Palin on “Dancing with the Stars”? (Will they abstain from watching TV?)


--Is there a single Tea Party story in all of journalism that doesn’t have either “brew,” “stir,” “boil,” “strong” or “weak” in the headline? How do you explain the oversight?


--When Harry Reid of Nevada calls Kirsten Gillibrand of New York “the hottest member” of the Senate, does he increase public belief in global warming? (How about John Boehner’s tan?)


--Do Harry Reid’s latest comments show him to have:


a) A sense of humor?


b) A sense of style?


c) No sense at all?


--If Republicans are on the verge of capturing the House of Representatives when a recent poll has them at a 20 percent approval rating, would they do even better if they were doing even worse?


--Bob Woodward reports in his latest book that Hamid Karzai, our man in Afghanistan, is a manic depressive. Why does that not surprise you?


--Is it better to have a president who’s dubious about what the military tells him, or a president who swallows it all without question?


--Would you rather have Bob Woodward inside your tent spitting out, or outside your tent spitting in?


--If Barack Obama’s hair is this gray after only two years, what will he look like after four?


--What percentage of the things Newt Gingrich says does Newt Gingrich actually believe?


--They threw Jonah overboard to calm the seas. Will throwing Larry Summers overboard have the same effect on the economy? (What if Larry Summers is the whale?)


--If “terrorist attacks that didn’t happen” is a valid measure of George Bush’s post-9/11 success on national security, why isn’t “jobs that weren’t lost” a valid measure of Barack Obama’s success on the economy?


--If somebody bought Mahmoud Ahmedinejad a necktie, would he wear it? And for that matter, how does he always manage to have a six-day beard?


--If—according to a recent survey—most Republicans prefer congressmen who don’t compromise with the other side, while most Democrats prefer congressmen who do, doesn’t that pretty much explain everything?
--If Christine O’Donnell keeps running for office to raise enough money to pay for her rent, does that make her a “career politician”?

--How difficult is it for Democrats to run for re-election while they’re curled up in the fetal position? Is “Afraid of Our Own Shadow” really an effective campaign slogan?


--In the middle of the night, does John McCain ever regret not choosing somebody boring for his running mate?


--Has there ever been a more perfect melding of person and platform than “Sarah Palin” and “Twitter”?


--Now that the new health care law means your children with pre-existing conditions won’t be denied insurance coverage, do you suddenly feel like a socialist?


--When people talk about “the elites,” do they really mean “the informed”?


--In 25 words or less: Why might it not be the best idea to make minority rights depend on a majority vote?


--What does Nancy Pelosi do for fun? How about after January?

--If you had a choice between spending an evening with Harry Reid or spending an evening with Mitch McConnell, would you shoot yourself?


--If tainted eggs can spread salmonella, can tainted salmon spread eggstacy?


Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at rickhoro@execpc.com.

Print Print