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A father figure for grown men

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Photo by Dan Lassiter

LaMar Pulliam

BELOIT — LaMar Pulliam remembers when he drove men to work in Whitewater and Fort Atkinson, then hurried home to Beloit to catch a few winks before he returned to take them home after their night shifts.

The men did not have driver’s licenses, so Pulliam literally drove the extra miles because he wanted to see them succeed.

After getting the workers home, Pulliam put in a full day as coordinator of the Fatherhood Initiative, a program of Community Action. The men he helped with transportation were graduates of the 12-week program, designed to develop job and parenting skills.

Talk about a man with passion for his work. Pulliam is so committed to those in the program that he worked during most of his vacation last year.

“These men are trying to get their lives together,” Pulliam explained. “I’m the person they relate to, so I’m the one who gets the first call, when they need help. I can’t just tell them, ‘See ya.’”

Community Action started the innovative program in October 2007. Originally, it was for unemployed or underemployed fathers in the Beloit area. Now, the program draws men from other cities in Rock and Walworth counties.

Men get help learning how to interview and to find jobs. They learn how to engage with their children in positive ways. They plan for child support payments and deal with court issues. They also get involved in the community by volunteering.

Pulliam realizes that men who did not have strong fathers in their lives need to learn what caring fathers do.

“You can contact him 24 hours a day,” said Lee Wofford, a successful program graduate. “If you have an issue, LaMar helps you work through it. He builds leaders and helps leaders build themselves. He has the respect of all the guys. They don’t look at him as a facilitator but as one of us.”

Rock County Judge James P. Daley said Pulliam’s impact is amazing.

“Some men have been in the revolving doors of the court system,” Daley said. “But once he (Pulliam) gets a hold of them, I’ve noticed a startling change. It’s based on them accepting responsibilities for their actions and building for a better future.”

Much of Pulliam’s insight into making the program work comes from personal experience.

He was the youngest of 14 children. LaMar’s mother made him eat breakfast every morning with his father. They ate together for 14 years in a ritual that bonded them and taught Pulliam the importance of fatherhood.

Pulliam became a dad for the first time at 21.

“Every time I turned around, I was getting milk and diapers,” he recalled. “I was not ready for all the responsibility. But the bottom line is the responsibility will not go away. You need to stand up and be a man. You need to be there for your kids.”

Pulliam understands that many men in the program did not have fathers around when they were growing up or they were dealing with difficult circumstances.

“The biggest thing we are trying to get these guys to see is how important family is,” he says. “They need to be there for those kids. I tell them their children want to be in their arms. Even if they did not have family growing up, they can have family now.”

He admits it is hard work being available to the men 24 hours a day.

“But when they become committed to their kids and to helping others, it infuses me with energy,” Pulliam said. “I will sacrifice time, sleep or whatever it takes to see them turn their lives around.”