Thank you Jvlhousewife!
Yes I can say this without being any of the names I have been called. Do you really think that I take what my kids SAY and just go with that. NO!! Backpacks are checked everyday, I know all their friends, lockers at school are checked more than once a week but they don't know when. Rooms are checked about every or every other day depending. Emails, texts, and online accounts are monitored greatly!
I can say without a hint of doubt that my kids will be drug free! I'm not saying they never get in trouble for over stepping a line, they are kids, but they will stay drug FREE!

Wow Jvlhouswife! You really need to let that 13 year old spread his wings a little. When will you let him go outside by himself, when he's 21? He has to have some friends that have parents you trust so he doesn't have to be welded to your side. I truly feel sorry for him. Let him go a little or when he forcefully pulls away from you it will be a mess.

yes the 13 year old was spanked, once on the bottom, but not for opening a facebook account but for lying after we told him not to open it and we found out he did it anyways.

Hey sheltered kids don't get into trouble! I mean, until they are unsheltered!...If the parents allow it to be so. Everyone can raise their kids how they want. I mean, the risk takers and independent thinkers aren't the ones who make huge successes in almost all aspects of life anyway,right?;) To each their own. I sincerely hope you can tame the monster that's being created once it finally is out of the house....But maybe your method will work perfectly and you will have a created your ideal child that you wanted.Fulfilling what you have built up to be the ideal person and created and molded from day one. Boring, but hey at least they won't be having sleepovers with friends.Or talking to them on facebook. Or have a healthy *private* social life. I feel so blunt this morning, I probably shouldn't post this...
Bottom line remains, you aren't raising your kids wrong, just totally different than most of us-and maybe that right there is the problem too. To each their own.

jnsville housewife,i read all your posts above,this must be awful for your kids to live like this,they might say its ok,but thats probably so they dont have to deal with your wrath,are these poor kids even allowed to bathe without you being in there?im sorry to critisize your parenting skills,but you seriously need parenting classes,lady,this is going to come back an bite you right in the tush.these kids are going to have serious issues one day,you dont sound like a parent who is concerned,you sound like a female hitler,did i read right,that you gave a 13 year old a spanking for opening a facebook account?i believe there are medications out there,that will help you,because you should seek help,no one should have to live like that.when these kids do rebel,there will be no one to blame but yourself.good luck.

Jvlhousewife.......You are very controlling!!! Sounds like your in the process of raising some messed up kids!

my thoughts and prayers are with that family

One clarification, my son and I still have a solid relationship. While there are moments where he wants to throttle me (and I him), those are few and far between.

He understands that my objective as a parent is to guide him on how to be a responsible and independent adult who can function on his own and make the right choices because it's the right thing to do, not because his mother is watching.

I'm certainly not trying to bash you, jvlhousewife, just offering a different perspective.

jvlhousewife, I think you're going to an extreme that is going to backfire. While your 13-year-old son might not mind you tagging along right now (and following him around in the park), he's going to hate it in two years.

My son (now 15) is mortified if I speak in public (especially to him) when I could do practically anything without phasing him only two years ago.

I was also still pretty smart and cool even last spring. Not anymore. He doesn't even think I have enough sense to cross the street or avoid walking on wet pavement (seriously, I have stories about both of them).

What I speak of is a natural occurrence. It's God's/nature's way of allowing children to have the independence to successfully leave the nest (and their parents to willingly let them go).

You have to loosen the leash so he has an opportunity to form his own identity and make choices. I'm not saying you need to loosen it so much that he's running the streets at all hours, but let the kid go to a birthday party or even to a friend's house without you lurking behind him.

He's got to be able to do it sometime...it would be best that it happens at an age where he's still willing to share things with you. If not, I'm certain that he will never come talk to you about any potentially bad thing that happens to him because he's certain you'll just turn the overprotective screws a little tighter and take away what few freedoms he has.

That is correct, we have play dates at the park but I follow my children around, I don't sit and talk with the other parents. If a birthday party is in a public place we will go as a family and my kid can go with the party. Yes we have even told parents that we don't allow our kids to go out with out us and many have invited my husband of myself to the party, and we have had to say no to some parties because when they are told that we don't let our kids out by them selves they laugh and think we are joking, when they realize that I am not laughing with them they usually say that the kids will be fine without us, we say sorry but our kid is not attending the party. We do things as a family and my 13 year old has thanked us for that, he says he loves the family time and that he is not left somewhere while we go out. Big sacrifices on our part as parents, our only alone time as a couple is after the kids go to bed, which is usually only about a half hour before us, a boring couple yes but we love our life. Our kids have been told that as high school kids they will be dropped off and picked up by us every day, they will not have access to a car until they buy one after their 18th birthday, and no riding with friends. Strict, yes - problems some day, maybe but not yet.

Jvlhousewife: Wow, your kids are not allowed to go to other kids houses....ever? Typically children that sheltered will probably rebel in the future. That is really sad.

I think that facebooker may be able to say that they know that the children in their house would not do this. We feel the same about our kids. As parents my husband and I do know what is going on in our kids lives. Yes I can say I know because they are always with one of us except when they are at school. I have 2 kids, my oldest is 13. My kids are not allowed to leave the house without a family member with them. Both of my kids are allowed to have friends over to our house but they are not allowed to go to friends houses. When friends are here they are to play where I can see them, no closed doors, no going outside alone. I do know the parents of my kids friends and that is why my kids are not allowed at others houses. I have found a lot of the parents leave their kids to play any where they want, other parts of the house, even at neighbors houses, how can they know what is happening to my child when their kid took mine to another house? That hasn't happened to my kids because we don't allow our kids to go to other kids houses. By talking to other parents we have heard a lot of stories of things happening and the parents are O.K. with what is going on, I can't parent my child at someone elses house, and apparently a lot of parents don't do their jobs of parenting well enough to have my child in their home. I can't say that my kids will never do anything wrong, they are human, but they also know what is expected of them to live on our house. If you don't go by our rules on your 18th birthday you are out! Our 13 year old also knows that he is not to old to get spanked, like when we found out a few months ago that he opened a facebook account after we said no, the spanking reminded him of our rules. Thankfully that is the worst thing that has happened in quite a while. If one of my children did take drugs due to peer presure we would definatly go after the child that gave it to him and also after the adult that gave it to that child. We would be pressing any charges possible against anyone involved!

Thank you Jennifer Bethel for sharing your story at such a tragic time.

By stepping forward immediately, when the pain is still raw and the community is reeling in shock, you have made an impact with this story. While many will continue to believe "not my kid," your story proves that it CAN be your child--and it can happen much sooner than you might think.

People may not realize that the juvenile brain is not fully developed during the teenage years. Brain scientists have found that heightened risk-taking is actually natural in teens due to competition between the socioemotional and cognitive-control networks in their brains. (www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/04/07...)

Socioemotional develops first, while the cognitive-control system doesn't completely develop until their mid-20s.

That means that teens might be able to withstand temptation when they're alone or state that they would never, ever do something (like drugs), but their cognitive control is not strong enough to overcome the socioemotional part of their brain when they're in social settings and their emotions are heightened (I want to fit in, I want to be liked, I want to be cool, I don't want to be rejected because I'm not willing to do what everyone else is doing, everyone else is doing it and are fine.)

The result? Kids will not remove themselves from, and will even take part in, risky situations, even when they know it's wrong.

That is the very reason why my child, for example, when he was at a 12th birthday party for a friend, did not get out of the car when the dad (a doctor) let the birthday boy (an over-achiever who has skipped several grades in school) back their car out of the driveway with all his friends in it.

Not a single one of the boys told the boy driver to stop or tried to get out, and every one of them afterward told their parents that they knew it was wrong but didn't know what to do at the time. Nothing happened. They made it out of the driveway unscathed, but it certainly was an eye-opener to me.

While I teach my child to never do drugs and suggest that he can actually have more fun without drinking or drugging, I also know that he will make some very bad choices in his teen and young adult years. I can only hope he makes it through OK.

I would just like to point out I was not trying to insinuate that Bethel was naive or anything, that comment was not directed her in the least. My prayers are with her. As a father with a son this scares the bajeezus out of me =(

"The kids in my house are all younger than that and I can PROMISE you they would not and will not do drugs of any kinds. We talk about it all the time and the older kids read this story. Its not a oh this will never happen to me because I know things happen all the time but they will not be drug users."
It's naive people like you who make overdose death possible.

Kids at this age are vulnerable and dumb.

When my adult children were young, some of their friends were sniffing glue. When I told the principal about a certain kid doing that, she said, "Oh, I can't believe that, he's such a nice kid." He was a nice kid, but he was sniffing glue!!

Facebooker: What an arrogant statement to make. You have no idea of what your children may or may not do when they get to that age or older. If they are allowed to think for themselves anything is possible. You may end up being one of those parents that just lives in your magical little world that is oblivious about what your children are doing or maybe you'll be the parent that lives in denial and just keeps bailing them out to save face. Either way you should really consider your words carefully as they could hurt the family in this article.

*

To the Bethel and Aiken families: I am truly sorry for your loss and I hope you can find a way to make it through this difficult time in your life.

this is to jennifer and the family of this poor child. i know people are saying crazy things right now and judging. i am her to say i am sorry for your loss. i hope in time you can fined atleast a little comfort in life. you, your family and your son are in our prayers

NEVER SAY NEVER. It will and always does come back to bite you. I learned to never say "not my children" because they will do it. It doesn't matter how great your realtionship is with them. It is the nature of the beast. We have to tell our children that while ther is no santa claus or easter bunny the boggie man is real. How sad for everyone involved.

davvic , I agree completely . I think you may have left out the fact that she may need to soften her heart towards others .

facebooker09-At first I thought you were just arrogant but after reading your last response I see you are ignorant as well. Those kids of yours have you totally buffaloed. Most of the parents I know myself included have said "The kids in my house are all younger than that and I can PROMISE you they would not and will not do drugs of any kinds. We talk about it all the time and the older kids read this story. Its not a oh this will never happen to me because I know things happen all the time but they will not be drug users." in one form or another. But the difference between a good parent and an arrogant one is the good parent will not take the word of their child at face value. They will try their best to keep close tabs on their kids, get to know their friends and their friends parents, examine their eyes, smell their breath, and yes, search their rooms occasionally and try to always stay one step ahead of them. And then maybe, just maybe you can stop something before it becomes a tragedy. But even with all those precautions there is still no guarantees. All kids lie at some point and with someone as rigid and unbending as you appear to be they will lie just to keep you happy and off their case. I'm afraid you're in for a few surprises in the coming years.

Also as a mother when I read this I cried because I cant imagine what that would be like. I had a miscarriage once and that was the worst thing I have ever gone through. I do pray for this mom.

freeradical " good to know you never drank a drop of alchohol before you were 21, or snuck out for awhile, or went to a party when you shouldn't have or stayed when you should've left, driven without a seatbelt. All these seem like small things,and not all are life threatening. My point is that to say this is an issue of knowing right from wrong is far from where your head should be here...Just think a little, your comment seems offensive to me. Just saying. You are entitled to your opinion too! "
First off my comment was to the lady who said 13 was to young to know right from wrong. The kids in my house are all younger than that and I can PROMISE you they would not and will not do drugs of any kinds. We talk about it all the time and the older kids read this story. Its not a oh this will never happen to me because I know things happen all the time but they will not be drug users.
Second most of the things on your list have nothing to do with anything here but most of them, almost all of them I never did. I had a good open relationship with my parents. Im not saying this mom didn't but I had a parent child relationship first and a friendship relationship after that.
Last my comment was not meant to be offensive. I strongly believe that 13 heck even 10 is old enough, with proper knowledge about drugs, to know right from wrong. So to say he was just to young....it doesn't work for me.

Facebooker, good to know you never drank a drop of alchohol before you were 21, or snuck out for awhile, or went to a party when you shouldn't have or stayed when you should've left, driven without a seatbelt. All these seem like small things,and not all are life threatening. My point is that to say this is an issue of knowing right from wrong is far from where your head should be here...Just think a little, your comment seems offensive to me. Just saying. You are entitled to your opinion too!
All we can do is hope(as always around here lately) that this boys life will shed more light on the dangers, and maybe we will never know, but perhaps this will save the lives of others? I hope people and kids that choose to experiment like this after hearing this story realize they need to educate themselves. Education for drugs is like education for sex. You can't expect complete abstinence. Of course that's ideal, but it's no where near realistic.We need to educate no just on "how to bust the users!" but also realize withou information like what kind of drug mixes kill you easily, how little of a certain drug it can take to have a fatal OD. The education can't just be "don't do drugs." or else we will continue to have these issues. Not sure what the schools teach about drugs, so I can't blame them or anyone, but someone needs to pick up the slack somewhere.Something's gotta give, I can't stand hearing about all these deaths from hard drugs doctors perscribe. Oxy? Why is it so readily available? there are countless painkillers,why do so many people get perscribed oxy? There is a lot I don't understand when I try to apply logic here.

Unfortunately, it is often too easy to get these pills if you don't need them and too difficult to get them if you do. I don't know Alexander and I can't imagine the pain this family is going through right now. Two kids, experimenting with a little danger, suddenly find that the payment demanded is far higher than they expected.

Who knows how each of us might have turned out if we made a similar choice instead of rebelling whatever way we did when we were kids? "C'mon, it's just a couple pills" doesn't sound all that different from "C'mon, it's just a cigarette" or "C'mon, why walk to the crosswalk when we can jaywalk right here?" I'm not defending the judgement of these kids nor am I making excuses for what happened. However, we all need to take a deep look at ourselves before we get on our moral high horse and condemn these people for the choices they made.

There's nothing so bad, that it can't be made a little worse by saying "I told you so" after the fact. It also serves no purpose, hindsight is always 20/20. Let's save it and let the family grieve for a while.

Being a mother of two, this hurts my heart to read. I cannot imagine what burying your own child is like. No pointing blame, it gets no one anywhere anyway. It takes away from the focus. Kids are daring and developmentally lack the ability to realize the true consequences of some of their actions, or sometimes they ,sadly, just don't care. What is the cure? I wish I knew since my child is right around the corner from this age and these temptations. All we can do is hope we have given them what they need to do better and make good choices. That being said, sometimes it seems like there is nothing we can do to protect them from themselves. I only hope this family finds and keeps the strength to get past this and become stronger. Good luck to all parents...

So sad. Kids at this young age are sooo vulnerable. Wonder who the person was that gave him these? A friend? My heart goes out to the mother, big time.

Im sorry but 13 is PLENTEY old enough to know right from wrong!!!!

The whole community will be affected in one way or another . The really sad thing is .. This mother will never hear her son say " Mom can I " She will never hear his voice call her name again . Every mother in the whole world will tell you , one of the most special things ever , in the whole wide world , is hearing your child call your name . " Mom " How hard this well be for her . Hold your kids close tonight and everynight . 13 years old is to young to know right from wrong . To young to understand the what if's in life !

To the family of Alex Aiken, you are definitely in our thoughts and prayers. We are sorry for your loss. Also, to Alex's friend's family, we certainly hope for the best for your son.

4ofus....You can't seriously be that naive as to place any blame the on the parents....can you? This woman sounds like she was an incredibly caring person, who I'm sure was deeply involved in her son's life. Some of the hardest partiers I knew growing up had parents that drilled the horrors of drug and alcohol abuse into their heads on a regular basis. Whether is was to rebel against authority or a desire to taste the "forbidden fruit" these kids were definitely made overly aware of the dangers they were running toward when the parents were not around. It's just the luck of the draw--you perfect parents out there who take a FRONT SEAT to the upbringing of your children, this could just as easily happen to you. I hope the mother of this child doesn't blame herself--it was just a tragic accident that could have happened to any family.......even the supposedly perfect(and ignorant) ones belonging to some to the people here......

Justme46: I agree with you. People please mind your own buisness and let this family greive! My heart goes out to this family.

4ofus...What u said in your comment about the other boy involved was truely HEARTLESS!!! This tragedy was in NO WAY his fault...WHY WOULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING???? If you read what Alex's mother said this was his best friend!! This boy will suffer and hurt about this probably for the rest of his life...without the likes of you blaming,he will hurt because he lost his best friend to something so stupid at 13 years old!!! Have some respect for this CHILD!!!

"What troubles exist(ed) in this young person's life that caused him to make such a decision?" What are you trying to communicate here? I was brought up by elderly parents and had 4 older sisters. I experimented, no disfunction in my family growing up. Thinking back, I could have died, too. You don't know what could of happened to make him take these pills. Maybe he was bored, they were easy to find, etc. You don't know and no one ever will. I also pray for his family and the little guy who almost died. Please, people, before this blog is shut down also, post positives or mind your own business and let this family grieve!

TRULY a tragedy.Now we will never know what greatness may have come from Alex's LIFE.To lose a child-I cannot imagine the pain.Our family sends our most fervent prayers for peace.Q:I'd like to know current condition of Alex' "friend" who also overdosed?If still hospitalized, injuries?SOUNDS like Alex & friend were having a "sleepover" when occurred; AND that Alex' mother hadn't any reason to suspect her son was taking drugs.IF that "friend" survives, he will be living with the knowledge that he helped Alex DIE, a lifelong moniker.Sorry, that's how it will be perceived.So, 2 lives will be directly destroyed, not to mention the aftermath left for their families to sort out.And for what?What troubles exist(ed) in this young person's life that caused him to make such a decision?Whoever is ultimately responsible for getting the drugs to Alex (IN ADDITION to the "friend"), should also be charged with murder, in my opinion.Those drugs had to come from SOME PERSON/Source.I also EXPECT law enforcement to expedite an investigation to find ANSWERS, and punish that individual(s) fully.The Edgerton S.D. MUST institute IMMEDIATE, strict policy changes with regards to drug EDUCATION, constant monitoring of students for same, and yes (if need be), urine tests AT SCHOOL, along with regular, direct searches of lockers.It's a sad commentary on our society, but REALITY today.IGNORING it will NOT help.Altho' I ABSOLUTELY agree that PARENTS need to take a "front seat" in making sure their children are safe, oftentimes today, PEER PRESSURE takes over in a young person's underdeveloped brain.The problem is also that video games have been proven to cause all kinds of issues with use by children and adults alike.Parents MUST monitor these, and ESPECIALLY the INTERNET.Drugs/Alcohol have been a serious problem for a very long time.Today, however the types of drugs available are even more accessible and deadly.I removed all three of my children from our WI district for a variety of reasons, INCLUDING my concerns about drug use among pre-teens/teens in the schools (EX. Recent Heroin overdose by pre-teens in city park).I feel very lucky in that I LISTEN (and still do), to what my children TELL me (so keeping lines of communication open is CRITICAL), WHO their friends are (and the PARENTS of their friends), WHERE they are(and I don't mean be a "helicopter" parent, just "check in"-IF there is a "problem", CALL and I'll come get you NO MATTER WHEN, NO MATTER WHAT), EDUCATE them (since they were about age 7), about the very real dangers of DRUGS, SEX, etc.SET BOUNDARIES, LOVE THEM, BE RESPONSIBLE for them & just RAISE them properly (a lot of what I see today is children RAISING THEMSELVES).Alex's Mom (JB),is very brave to allow her son's name to be published.It certainly got my attention.I believe it WILL help other families realize that they need to be more "in touch" with their children, so that they too, don't suffer the same horror of losing a child needlessly.

Disheartening and sad but praying is not going to do any good for the mother. She does have my sympathies. Neither will bring back her child nor will praying give her a sense of whatever you think your praying is going to do for her. Unfortunately her child has gone to the maker and I am sorry for being harse about people saying they are praying for her and I apologize to her for that.

Education is going to do very little. Kids are going to experiment and the more you tell them about something and not to do it then most likely they are going to do it. An unfortunate happening as this may wake a few children up and prevent usage until a later date where most every child will have experimented with one form of drug and alcohol. Parents that take prescription drugs, even over the counter drugs, need to be more proactive and get a cabinet and install a lock and place all these items in there. There is no other way and is the best prevention.

With illicit drugs, the Police need to have looser rules on suspected illicit drugs so that they can take down illicit drug users and drug dealers and give those people harser penalties. You as citizen should see the homes that have the drug users, inform the police. Keep records of the traffic, but do it so you are not invading privacy and just being a snoop.

There just has to be more done that education isn't doing to stop illicit drugs in America and prescription drug abuse. The legal drugs is simple as common sense on the parent's/guardian's part. The illegal drugs are much harder to take care of without vigilence on everyones part and stiffer penalties for the criminals.

Speaking of penalties, I will take back the praying part in partial and say this, I pray that the person that the kids got the medication from is tossed in jail for negligent manslaughter. This will still not bring back Alexander but charging the person and tossing them in jail for a few years will set a great example of what may happen to a person if one is so dumb as to not lock up medications. You put locks on your cabinets when a child is just starting to crawl, walk and explore, it should be no different when they are growing up but use real locks. Kids are still curious and prevention matters.

I'm glad we got to hear a few words from the mother, to dispel speculation and hopefully let people realize she just lost her son, throwing stones before we get any facts is no way to act.
My deepest condolences

It's hard to know what to say at times like this. I said a prayer for the family. I had a couple of cousins who died young. They didn't die from drug overdoses. But still it was a case where parents had to bury their children. Those funerals were especially hard to attend. I hope the mother has other friends and family close by. That way she's not all alone.

Oreally, pee testing? Are you serious! Are you even a parent? Let me tell you something, pee testing isnt the answer, its education. Remember back in the day people just had to drink an herbal tea to be clean for a drug test to get a job so the pot wouldnt show up. Parents need to educate their children, and talk to them and pray they make the right decisions. We have to trust our children and give them the benefit of the doubt before we go making them take urine test. I have always talked to my kids about everything, discussed consequences and even introuduced them to people who have or are dealing with certain situations because of their actions. My children talk to me about everything, even the stuff I dont want to hear and they know they can count on me not to judge them or disipline them but to listen and praise and give advise. They dont do drugs and my children are the first ones to tell their friends no way and their self esteem is high enough that they dont care what their friends think. As my son tells me, mom I plan on making something of myself and if they dont like it too bad. I talk to his friends parents, I know all of his friends and the kids who have gotten into trouble are now out of trouble and have stated its because they hang out with my son and he is a good influence on them. He is an A B student and I couldnt be prouder.
So education and parents getting involved with their kids and their friends is the answer. Not peeing in a cup! My prayers are with this mother and the family and I hope no one else has to endure her pain. Talk to the kids. You will be surprised how much they do listen.

My prayers are with the family of this young man. What a brave mom to come forward with her son's picture and name. I know I will be talking with my 6th grade daughter about this- and having her read the story. May God bless you in your time of sorrow.

My heart breaks for Alex's mom and the rest of his family and friends. May God bless them as they deal with this tragedy.

Wise up, folks. There's a monster living under the bed, and it's unmoved by the tears of the bereaved. Either you drive it out or it kills--maybe in one strike or maybe over time after a long, sad procession of accidents, arrests, counseling, probation, jail time, etc., etc., etc. A suggestion to parents: pee testing. It's a small measure to take in view of the enormity, entrenched presence, and deadly consequences of drug abuse.

Every parent needs to share this story with their child. We cannot take for granted that our children would never do this. My heart breaks for this family.

My heart just breaks for her. I will be praying for her and her family.

With a 7th grade son myself I cannot even imagine what this family is going through. I will have my son read this article and can only hope that it will influence his decisions to make better choices. I am so sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing to help the rest of the children that still have a chance to be saved from something so tragic.

No parent should have to bury a child...its just not right. This family is in my prayers.

I can't imagine what this mom is going through. Hopefully this horrific situation can be a learning tool for parents/educators to discuss this serious trend. To the mom, I hope you can find peace, I'm sure your son is watching over you now.