Janesville32.8°

The GOP says, “Two out of three?”

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Rick Horowitz
February 4, 2010
(In rooms where Republicans gather…)

“I say we do it again—invite him back, and do it again.”


“You think he’ll do it?”


“Only this time we’ll be better prepared. We’ll know what we’re up against.”


“Actually, it wasn’t that bad the last time.”


“Absolutely! We went toe-to-toe with the president of the United States. How often does that happen?”


“We’ve already got fundraising letters going out on it—it should bring in some money, anyway.”


“This time we’ll be ready for him.”


“Hey, the important thing was doing it. Now that we did it once, we can do it again.”


“Only better.”


“Everyone deserves a rematch, right? If he refuses, he’s just a quitter.”


“A coward.”


“The main thing is, he had to admit we have ideas. None of that Pelosi-Reid crap about us being ‘the party of no ideas.’”


“I hate it when they say that!”


“What do you expect? If they admit we have ideas, they have to deal with them. This way, they can keep us shut out of everything, just like they always do.”


“Did you see when John gave him the ideas book? Wasn’t that great? It’s like he didn’t even know what to do with it!”


“Yeah, but he said he’d read ’em already.”


“Next time, we give him ideas he hasn’t read—get the jump on him.”

“Put him back on his heels.”


“But if he already read ’em, that means there had to be something there, right? So they’ll have to stop with that ‘no ideas’ business all the time.”


“No way. They won’t stop unless he tells them to stop.”


“They won’t stop anyway. They don’t care what he tells them—they’re all doing their own little deals.”


“Plus it works for them.”


“It doesn’t work for them. Because it isn’t true!”


“Since when does that matter?”


“You’ve seen the numbers—it definitely works for them.”


“But he knows. That’s the main thing. He knows we have ideas.”

“That’s why it was a win for us.”


“Absolutely!”


“Even if he could push back on all of them.”


“That’s because he’d read them first! Even before John gave him the book. It’s like he was … like he was…”


“Cheating!”


“Exactly! If he’s gonna read our ideas, and he already knows his ideas, of course he’s gonna have an advantage! Of course they’ll all say he won!”

“Not Fox, though.”


“Well, of course not Fox! But everybody else. ‘He cleaned their clocks,’ they’re saying.”


“Not even close!”


“They’ll never admit it, though—they’re all in bed together.”


“We did fine.”


“We did fine—and next time, we’ll do even better.”


“You bet.”


“Next time we’ll be ready for him.”


“You think he’ll give us a next time?”


“Absolutely!”


“Absolutely.”


“We’ll do better next time.”


Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at rickhoro@execpc.com.

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