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First things first, says Mr. McConnell

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Rick Horowitz
December 3, 2010
“While there are other items that might ultimately be worthy of the Senate’s attention, we cannot agree to prioritize any matters above the critical issues of funding the government and preventing a job-killing tax hike.”
--Sen. Mitch McConnell, laying down the law

Here in Priorityville, we know what matters.


It’s a big old town, Priorityville, with plenty going on and plenty of problems that need fixing. But you can’t do everything, and thank goodness Mayor McConnell understands that.


We call him “Mayor McConnell” here in Priorityville, even though he’s not really the mayor—he just likes to throw his weight around and act like he’s the mayor. The thing is, he and his pals have enough juice here in Priorityville that whenever they decide to throw their weight around, which these days is pretty much all the time, they can toss a monkey wrench into anyone else’s plans.

But that’s OK, because at least Mayor McConnell has his priorities straight.


Tax cuts.


And not just tax cuts for almost everybody, the way some other folks prefer—tax cuts for absolutely everybody! The way Mayor McConnell sees it, the folks who live up on Millionaires Row deserve a little something back from the government just as much as anyone else does. (Even if their “little something back” turns out to be not so little.) It’s the principle of the thing.


And the principle of the thing is so important to Mayor McConnell that he and his pals put out an ultimatum the other day: Nothing else happens in Priorityville—nothing at all—until they get those tax cuts locked in for Millionaires Row. Which has got some other folks pretty riled up because these other folks see a whole bunch of other problems that need fixing first.


Keeping the Russians from blowing us up, for instance. Some other folks think it would be a good idea to approve this new treaty that’s been sitting out there, this new treaty that would cut the numbers of nuclear missiles on both sides, and let us go back to inspecting each other to make sure we’re both playing by the rules.


But that’s not a priority for Mayor McConnell. He wants those tax cuts.


Or doing something so people who want to go into the Army and the Navy and such to help defend us don’t have to worry about being kicked out if anyone finds out they’re gay. Some folks think that would be pretty important to fix, too, especially when we’re fighting two wars and need all the good soldiers and sailors we can find.


But that’s not a priority for Mayor McConnell either. Not like tax cuts.


Or unemployment benefits—with so many people out of work these days, and unemployment benefits running out for millions of them, how about extending those benefits to help people get through the holidays, and through the winter?


But that’s not a priority for Mayor McConnell either. Not like tax cuts.


Tax cuts mean “certainty,” he keeps saying. When times are so tough, the last thing Mayor McConnell wants is for those poor folks up on Millionaires Row to be uncertain about where their next Lexus is coming from.


So nothing else happens until those tax cuts happen—and maybe not even then.


If they run out of time before they can do any of those other things—well, that’s the way the cookie crumbles. The calendar is the calendar. You can’t ask Mayor McConnell and his pals to cut into their Christmas vacations just because of Russian missiles and gay soldiers and millions of unemployed people. That would be silly.


Here in Priorityville, we know who matters.


Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at rickhoro@execpc.com.

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