Inventing the latest health-care scares
WARNING: This column could lead to alligators in your toaster oven.
There are people out there who actually value a good, honest, fact-based and data-driven debate about reforming the nation’s health-care system.
Pity.
That’s because the chance of our actually having a good, honest, fact-based and data-driven debate about reforming the nation’s health-care system is roughly equivalent to the chance of Sarah Palin being chosen the next poet laureate of the United States.
(In other words, don’t bet the ranch.)
But does that make the current debate worthless? Hardly—at least for those of us who enjoy watching the way politics and policy occasionally interact with the English language. For us—the few, the masochistic—the battle over health care has been an absolute treasure trove of linguistic innovation.
And it’s not just the instantly memorable phrases like “death panels” or “tea parties.” It goes way beyond that. The health-care debate has birthed an entirely new tense!
That’s right: Just in case the Present Tense and the Past Tense and the Future Tense and the Past Subjunctive and the Future Conditional and all the rest aren’t quite enough to satisfy you, suddenly there’s the Cataclysmic Hypothetical.
As in “The provisions of this bill could lead to pulling the plug on Grandma.”
Or “This so-called reform puts us on the path toward a government takeover of the health-care system.”
Or even “The president’s recent statement moves us one step closer to a totalitarian, socialist, communist, fascist state.”
The Cataclysmic Hypothetical.
It’s no longer necessary for the particular horrible they’re railing against to actually be in the bill they oppose so fiercely. It’s now enough simply to suggest that the bill in question makes that particular horrible the tiniest bit more likely.
They can’t prove it—but they don’t have to! They only have to claim that, under the most sinister possible interpretation of every word and number and punctuation mark in the bill—and the even-more-sinister interpretation of every word and number and punctuation mark that isn’t in the bill—some terrible something is a hair more likely on some distant tomorrow than it might have been yesterday.
They can’t prove it—but they don’t have to: The other side can’t disprove it!
Maybe something really awful really could be in the offing if this or that provision passes. Maybe this or that phrase really could mean we get invaded by swarms of illegal aliens—or, for that matter, swarms of intergalactic aliens from the Planet Rootytoot. Do you see anything in the bill that specifically prohibits intergalactic swarms? Not a word! What does that tell you?
And what about Thursdays? Why doesn’t it say anything about Thursdays?
And how about when the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars…?
Petrified yet?
No? Just give them time. First they use the Cataclysmic Hypothetical Tense to stir up the fear, to jump-start the panicked conversations. Then they say, “Well, we’re not saying it’s necessarily true, but it’s certainly something that lots of people are talking about, so let’s talk about it some more.”
Right. The bootstrapped bogeyman.
You can believe it if you want to. You can believe anything if you want to.
You ought to know, though: It can move your brain one step closer to mashed potatoes.
Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at rickhoro@execpc.com.
Sep 30, 2009 at 3:56 p.m.
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It's unfortunate that we have to maintain this relentless bombardment of our lawmakers in Washington. I almost cannot believe we have actually sustained several victories against the rich, powerful and the open border denizens? We have gained major headway in implementing E-Verify, the illegal immigrant worker extractor? But we cannot stop calling the Senators and representatives at 202-224-3121 and emphasizing the--THE AMERICAN WORKERS COMES FIRST. Demand they not table, but to install E-Verification on a permanent basis. If we release the strangle hold on those who influence our economic future, they will find a way to contain the program?
Sep 30, 2009 at 3:55 p.m.
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Sen. David Vitter offered an amendment that prevents any further delays in the implementation of the Social Security Administration’s No-Match-letter program. Sen. Jeff Sessions offered an amendment that requires all federal contractors to use E-Verify and a permanent re-authorization of the application. All American workers must keep an eye on Sen. Harry Reid, Speaker Pelosi, and HS chief Napolitano as they--WILL--make the effort to squash or weaken immigration laws and today might conspire to cut funding for E-Verify as of September 30?
In a move to block Sen. Sessions’ E-Verify amendment, the Senate leadership tried to table the amendment, but the motion failed and was later passed.
This is an outstanding win for 10 million jobless Americans whom are suffering? We are finally harnessing the Special Interest lobby as they are now raving mad. Congratulations go out to these politicians, who are fighting a perpetual battle against the massive corporate welfare program, called illegal immigration, which taxpayers have always supported. Illegal aliens and families are catered for through emergency rooms laws, while the legal population is hounded for unpaid bills. It is truly a massive impediment if foreign nationals can also access any health care reform that passes? Our phone calls should not stop until E-Verify is fully funded, in-perpetuity? 287 G must continue, which will give our police the training to question people of their immigration status. ICE raids must be reinstated on all suspicious businesses. More Border Patrol agents? E-Verify could have many use, including drivers licenses, health care, insurance in the mainstream state benefits verification? Last, but not least the Immigration Reform and Control Act must be enforced, not undermined so they can heave at us another path to citizenship. We cannot support another BLANKET AMNESTY. The last one was Mickey Mouse and driven by unparalleled fraud. Three websites have the raw ingredients of the undisclosed cost and other information at NUMBERSUSA, JUDICIAL WATCH & for OVERPOPULATION statistics CAPSWEB.
As for the 2010 Census? Small states will miss out big time on federal dollars, while mass illegal immigrant states will gain more seats in Congress and too much power and influence? Of course ICE could check the immigration status of those who are counted, even though it's supposedly against US law?
Sep 29, 2009 at 10:54 p.m.
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Which Chicken Little tale should I believe?
1. The world is getting hotter
2. The world is getting cooler
3. Illegals will not get free health care
4. Illegals will get free health care
5. Right is wrong and Left is Right
We rely on our elected officials to give us the honest facts. We rely on the media to report the honest facts. Now if one or both fail to tell the truth then we have to base what we know on what we can gleam from all the information that is out there.
6. Does this column scare you or calm you?
Sep 29, 2009 at 12:32 p.m.
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I heard that Obama made the H1N1 virius in a secret lab in his basement!
Sep 29, 2009 at 11:42 a.m.
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You mean the like the latest health-scare tactics used by the President?
Like when he claimed a woman lost her health care coverage because she didn’t disclose a case of acne…oops, that was a lie (err, I mean a mistake). Yes she was dropped, because she failed to disclose a previous heart condition.
“In reflexively blaming insurance companies, Obama is playing into fears…” http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/arti...
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