Annual event raises awareness about domestic violence
Podcast Episode
An event aimed at building awareness of domestic violence is building steam at the same time more cases of domestic violence are showing up in Rock County. The Walk A Mile-in Her Shoes event is scheduled for Friday, September 25th and has a goal do raising $50,000 this year. Kyle Geissler reports. You can read more in Wednesday's Janesville Gazette.
If you go
Who: YWCA of Rock County
What: 2009 Walk a Mile In Her Shoes community advocacy/awareness event to end sexual assault and violence against women and girls.
When: Friday, Sept. 25, with 4 to 5:15 p.m. registration, 5:15 p.m. opening ceremony, 5:30 p.m. 1-mile walk starts.
Where: Kutter Harley-Davidson/Buell, 3223 N. Pontiac Drive, Janesville.
Registration: Individual or team forms and pledge forms available online at www.ywcawalkamile.org or by calling (608) 752-5445. Motorcyclists are encouraged to participate in the Hogs in Heels portion of the event that asks cyclists to ride the 1-mile route.
Featured: Gourmet hors d'oeuvres, beverages and live music by Tim Markus, John Nelson and Adrian Farris plus a unique silent auction of 20 artistically decorated shoes created by local artists at the celebration event.
Cost: Minimum donation of $25 for nonwalkers suggested. Walkers who raise a minimum of $25 receive a complimentary ticket to the event. Walkers raising $250 in pledges receive two event tickets and walkers who raise $500 or more get four tickets. Reservations for the walk and the celebration event can be made at www.ywcawalkamile.org or by calling the YWCA at (608) 752-5445.
Proceeds: Benefit the YWCA in its prevention efforts and service to victims.
Photo
Trae Leeder uses a hand saw to detail the heel of a wooden high-heeled shoe he is crafting. Leeder's artwork will be among 20 shoes to be featured in a silent auction at the third annual Walk A Mile in Her Shoes event on Friday, Sept. 25.
Photo
Trae Leeder sands a high-heeled shoe he is crafting out of laminated wood.
JANESVILLE — Signs of domestic violence pervaded her home, only Suzie didn't see them.
Her husband told her where she could go, who she could talk to and what she could wear.
He also would get angry every few months when he'd break and throw things and mess up the house. After their separation in June, he began drinking daily. His anger kept building. And in August, he threatened to kill Suzie and her boyfriend then himself.
"He sounded like a maniac the way he was shouting and repeating himself," Suzie said of the early morning telephone calls from her estranged husband.
"I was scared. Very, very scared," said Suzie, not her real name.
Suzie immediately called 911. When police arrived, they reacted quickly and followed procedures to keep Suzie, 28, and her loved ones safe.
"I'm thankful they did all the things they did, otherwise it could have been a lot worse," Suzie said.
A couple days after the incident, when police went over a safety plan with Suzie, they gave her a pamphlet that listed all the red flags of domestic violence.
"I had most of them. I should have known. But I didn't know anything about the signs of domestic violence," Suzie said.
She is not alone.
Community awareness
That is why the YWCA is again leading efforts to raise community awareness and end sexual assault and violence against women and girls by sponsoring its third Walk A Mile in Her Shoes event on Friday, Sept. 25.
"It fits our mission, is related to our programming, has fund-raising potential and it puts unexpected ambassadors out in our community," said Allison Hokinson, community relations director.
The organization set a goal to have 150 walkers and raise $50,000.
The first walk was an advocacy awareness event when a few rallied for the cause and donated $1,500. Last year, 84 walkers and more than 200 people attended the post-walk celebration to raise $35,000.
Proceeds will be used for general funding in the YWCA's programming services for domestic violence: walk-ins, support groups, legal advocacy, shelter, food/clothing, personal products in the shelter, transportation, child care and respite care.
"It's all the things needed to support our clients—women and children in the shelter and recovery services," said Marilyn Lensert Harris, YWCA alternatives to violence program director.
Education about domestic violence in communities is more important than ever, agreed local officials, who work with domestic violence victims.
Domestic violence deadly locally
In addition to the number of domestic violence cases increasing locally, Rock County has experienced some recent high profile, deadly domestic violence cases.
That includes three incidents in August 2008:
-- An Albanian immigrant couple killed in an apparent murder-suicide at their Janesville home.
-- A man accused of stabbing his ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend in Beloit.
-- An Edgerton couple who both died in a murder-suicide.
Plus, in April of 2009:
-- A Janesville woman was fatally shot in her front yard by an accused jealous ex-boyfriend.
Why violence continues
"We haven't reached enough people in spite of all the efforts. There are still people so isolated in their lives," Lensert Harris said.
Hokinson said domestic violence continues for a number of reasons, but fear predominates.
"So if we can educate that this is a community issue, it can be decreased and even eventually prevented. The more people learn about it and talk about it, we're going to see those numbers change," she said.
Milton Police Chief Jerry Schuetz publicly advocates for domestic violence protection. He walked in the Y's event last year, will do so again this year plus also will speak.
"He walks the walk and even devoted a whole segment of his Citizen Academy training to recognizing signs of domestic violence and what average citizens can do to help," Hokinson said.
Schuetz explained his involvement.
"This is a critical, important issue facing our society. It's important to do what we can do to get the word out how serious this is and put a stop to it," he said.
Arrests, reported incidents
Milton reported 33 domestic violence incidents in 2008, Schuetz said.
"We are on pace to have similar arrests and, year-to-date, we've had 15 custodial arrests classified as domestic and a few other domestic disturbances," he said.
In Janesville, police made 591 domestic violence arrests in 2008, which was higher than any other year since 2004. Reports of 375 domestic violence incidents also were made during the first six months of 2009, said Lt. Tim Hiers.
If those numbers repeat for the second half of the year, incidents reported are on pace to be more than ever than during the past six years, according to statistics.
The YWCA of Rock County also is experiencing an increase in shelter nights in its crisis anti-violence services.
"We are 12 percent over last year's numbers" through July 31 in comparison to 2008, Hokinson said.
Meanwhile, Suzie lives in fear every day.
"I check my doors a lot to make sure they're locked. I check the windows to make sure they're locked. I don't like to go anywhere by myself. I bought pepper spray," she said. She also has a restraining order against her estranged husband.
"It definitely is not good," Suzie said, "when someone thinks they have to control you and tell you what to do."
FAST FACTS
-- One-fifth of the adults employed in the United States have been victims of domestic violence. 65 percent are women, 35 percent are men.—Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence
-- One in four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.—U.S. Department of Justice, Intimate Partner Violence
-- Health-related costs of intimate partner violence exceed $5.8 billion each year.—Center for Disease Control
-- Domestic violence is the single greatest cause of injury to women ages 15 to 44 in the United States—more than muggings, car accidents and rapes combined.—Verizon's Foundation site
Oct 8, 2009 at 5:58 p.m.
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need help: Have you called the YWCA? It has been suggested many times in the comments. The YWCA does not discriminate between men and women. We recognize that men are abused too. There are resources out there for men as well as women. The numbers for help have been listed many times . Please call one of the numbers and get the help you need so that your child does not have to live through this. Many times the cycle of abuse is repeated with the child either becoming the abuser or the abused when they grow up.
Oct 8, 2009 at 4:43 p.m.
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I work at the YWCA. I have answered many hot line calls from men. We do not have a shelter for men but if "needs help" would call the hotline we could refer him to the resources he needs to get help. We at the YWCA recognize that not only women are the victims of domestic violence. We try to encourage ANYONE who is a victim to call our hotline. Since his partner has a problem with alcohol I would encourage him to get involved in Al-Anon. It will help him learn how to deal with the problem and to understand why he stays in this situation. If it is his choice to stay Al-Anon will help him to deal with his problems in a healthy way.
The number for the YWCA hotline is:
608-752-2583.
The hotline number for Al-Anon is:
608-756-1720.
Sep 30, 2009 at 7:40 a.m.
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they glued it to his stomach
Sep 29, 2009 at 8:38 a.m.
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I don't know if anyone else noticed, but isn't there a court case going on right now where the victim is a man. The estranged wife and 3 others glued his private parts to his leg? There should be at least one domestic charge in that case, added to whatever else she was charged with. This also points out that women can be hurt men easily, too!
Sep 23, 2009 at 2:52 p.m.
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And for all of the people who say "why high heals?" Its a walk called WALK A MILE IN HER SHOES....hmmm it makes me wonder too.....
Sep 23, 2009 at 2:37 p.m.
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I have a hard time believing if your situation was as bad as you say that there is not a single person who will help. All of the churches, ymca, nothing - I doubt it. Secondly if it is as bad as you say call the cops next time - and if it is that bad why are you leaving your child in that situation also? Dont tell me its her child too - great, dosent matter if shes abusive she needs to go.
Sep 20, 2009 at 7:10 p.m.
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I totally agree with advct! I have commented here on several articles that unfortunately there aren't dv victim housing available for men in our community, but one thing men can do (other than contacting the YW Alternatives or the Beloit Domestic Violence Center for legal assistance and resources) is to CONTACT the YW Alternatives or the Beloit Domestic Violence Center to make sure that they know these services are needed in our community and to what extent. Often times, men will hear that there aren't services, so won't make the call. I can't guarantee you that service options will change because of your situation or your call, but it will definitely be tracked. I know it's difficult to hear "no", but if you will at least make the call, you may, in fact, effect a change so that men in your situation in the future won't have to go through what you are going through. This is exactly how and why the women's centers came to be. Domestic Violence is very hard on the victim. Please support this cause and make every attempt to eradicate violence-wherever it exists.
Sep 19, 2009 at 5:20 p.m.
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I would suggest that anyone who is a victim of domestic violence (non-gender specific) make contact with the YWCA Alternatives to Violence Program and ask what services are available to vicitms/survivors.
I understand their advocates also work with men vicitmized by domestic violence and they have a man on staff. They may not be able to offer shelter to men but they offer walk-in services to everyone.
I feel there are several people commenting that are empathetic to needhelp's dilemma and have offered options. In his dilemma I hear the same suffering that female victims of abuse must feel.
As women are reportedly abused at greater numbers than men, and women's injuries are generally more severe this may be why more attention is placed on assiting women. Women generally have less economic power and most often bear the responsibility for caring for children, many in poverty. Are we willing to deny the opportunity for men to show support of women and children in this event because some don't like the method?
I am empathetic to needhelp and hope that he makes contact with the YWCA.
Understand, like many have stated, only the abuser can get help for her alcohol dependency.
Sep 18, 2009 at 11:01 a.m.
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hanna:yes I have and NO they don't........
Sep 18, 2009 at 10:06 a.m.
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housemouse:Are you alright why are you so bitter about men? really It's just a Topic,calm down It will be alright ok.....
Sep 18, 2009 at 9:14 a.m.
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Needhelp: If you need help getting out of a domestic violence situation with your partner, you can call the domestic violence shelter in Beloit. They help both men and women. Although Men cannot stay in the shelter, they do provide an alternative place for men to stay. Most DV shelters provide services to men and I thought the YWCA did this too, but looking at their website I do not see that. The Beloit DV number is 364-1083.
If you are looking for her to get treatment, she has to decide that on her own like others have said. You cannot force her into treatment. You, like any woman who is a victim, have to leave the situation and get help/services for yourself. Unfortunately, our society believes that the victim needs to leave instead of holding the abuser accountable and making him/her leave.
Sep 18, 2009 at 1:17 a.m.
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http://gazettextra.com/news/2008/oct/23/...
And in reference to the article at hand: I think that the reason they are using high heels on men is because it is the only thing men can do to feel the pain we feel. They can not give child birth, they cannot get their periods, they cannot know how it feels to be "picked on" by someone you love. They may know how it feels to be "picked on" by someone they love but like I said earlier men react differently than we do to things. Especially things like that. It is the only way they could feel our pain. Pretty creative if you ask me.
Sep 18, 2009 at 1:11 a.m.
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needhelp: My brother-in-law is a landlord and that 30 day thing only applies if the "tenant" is paying rent. If she is living there for free it does not count. You leaving and not her feeds into her control. The situation is that easy it is the action that is not easy. And if it is hard it is usually exactly what needs to be done (there are cases when that is not true but not many). I understand wanting to work things out but sometimes things are not meant to work out. If you can be separated and help is sought and successful then it may be worth working out but if it is detrimental to anyone it is not a healthy thing. And someone already said it once but I am going to reiterate it...sometimes people walking away from you is the wake up call you need; it is called hitting rock bottom and that is what needs to happen before addicts realize they need help. Again good luck to you.
Sep 17, 2009 at 11:42 p.m.
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Wow, needhelp. From all caps and poor spelling to sudden mastery of the English language. Having trouble managing your multiple personalities?
As far as "help for men", you supposedly work and LET her move into YOUR home. (but hey- at least she has a MAN, right? Apparently you put this as the highest a woman can attain- yuck) You claim to have a job.
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My point? WHAT HELP DO YOU NEED??? Battered women are ISOLATED, beatenm often have no place to live or no job. What the frick help are you expecting?
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Bottom line- you cry there is no help for men, say that women get all the help, and whined about this domestic violence event being against men. NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN, you want to work things out and "just get her some help."
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So... from her being alcoholic and you being trapped with no help, to you being the homeowner with a job, to not really wanting her out, just looking for a place to whine about your wife. Sorry- if your attempt was to show that there are abused men out there that need help- ULTIMATE FAIL.
Sep 17, 2009 at 10:53 p.m.
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Hardcore:Thanks, and I wish It was that easy.And I have told her to leave,the thing Is you can't just kick anybody out with out taking them to court and a 30 day notice.And living with her for that next 30 days would not be a very good deal.Not to mention what my son would have to hear in that time,I really just would like to get her some help and be able to work things out.I'm just so sick of hearing about all the help there is for the women and not one word about the men.But thanks for your comments just the same......
Sep 17, 2009 at 10:14 p.m.
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Oh, and by the way eville, the last time you saw my cajones you were complimentary...can't we all just get along....
Sep 17, 2009 at 10:06 p.m.
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Me too, hardcore.
Sep 17, 2009 at 9:54 p.m.
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Oh and by the way. Mud slinging only gets blood pressure boiling it does not make a point. If you have a point to make if you say it in a more civilized way more people listen. It makes me shake my head in dissapointment when I read some of the comments people put on these articles.
Sep 17, 2009 at 9:49 p.m.
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needhelp: Unfortunately I do not know of an organization like the YWCA that would help a man in this area. I am sorry to admit that but at least I was honest. I am a woman and the only thing I can tell you is that if it is that bad kick her out. I am not trying to sound callous but if she is that much of a pain or a danger as you say then she must leave and she is not going to do it on her own. I mean why would she? Your son deserves to grow up without two parents who are constantly fighting. Some people just cannot live together. And they are right; you CANNOT get her the help she has to want it. Someone cannot be forced into meetings or treatments and if they are it does not work for them. ANY kind of counciling only works if the person in it wants to change. I know it sounds cliche but it is true. I would do what some of them are suggesting about Mercy and the others but I am almost positive that the Y doesn't cater to men. I only know women who have been victims but I do agree that maybe someone should do an all around walk for both sexes. And as far as evansvillehouswife she seems to just be bitter. I used to sound just like her. And I am sorry to say this but some of us women are just scorned and refuse to accept that maybe men can be victims too. A lot of it comes from not seeing or understanding where men come from or how they handle things. I am not claiming to be an all knowing about men but I do know they handle things VERY differently than we women do. Bottom line is, needhelp, if you need help you have to first get the problem away from your son. You don't want him to grow up resentful because his parents could not be in the same room without fighting. It could drastically affect the way he handles his relationships with women. Good luck to ya.
Sep 17, 2009 at 9:38 p.m.
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evansvillehousewife....so you're a psychic AND a gender charged psychologist.
Don't over-analyze. Life isn't that complex.
Sep 17, 2009 at 9:20 p.m.
Sep 17, 2009 at 8:53 p.m.
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Maybe evansvillehousewife can let us all use some of her combat boots for this march.
Sep 17, 2009 at 7:30 p.m.
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IDIOT:well you got your name right but thats about it.All I was asking was who Is raiseing the money for the men and there kids that may need the same help,when they have to pack up and start over leaveing every thing behind whos going to find me and my kid another house. it sure won't be the YWCA I'm telling you.So where is the money for the working stiff that has to take his kids and move on????
Sep 17, 2009 at 7:05 p.m.
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Can the whining and complaining stop now? The YWCA does great things for women and children who are the victims of domestic violence. This event raised $35,000 last year. Would it have raised even a third of that if these guys were just walking in their regular shoes? So what, they're having a little fun with it? They are raising real money to help the YWCA help these victims and educate the community. Anybody trying to read more than than into this and whining and complaining about it needs to GROW UP!
Sep 17, 2009 at 5:57 p.m.
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This is liget because the fed, gov,can put such high tax on it and thay know people will pay no matter how high the tax is,the same with smoking.do you really think that thay don't have a cure for cancer.how much money do you think they would lose if they let that cat out of the bag.the good old FED'S.....
Sep 17, 2009 at 5:39 p.m.
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i was told by a legit source that 20% of all court cases in rock county are domestic abuse, and of those 'nearly all' are alcohol related. tell me again, or once i guess, why this drug is legal??
http://www.marininstitute.org/alcohol_po...
Sep 17, 2009 at 4:38 p.m.
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I THINK ANYBODY WHO READ YOUR STATEMENTS ALL READY NEW YOU DON'T LIKE MEN,NOR,DO YOU HAVE ONE.BUT THANKS FOR CONFIRMING IT.SOME WOMEN PREFER OTHER WOMEN,(NOT THAT THERES ANY WRONG WITH THAT.)
Sep 17, 2009 at 4:22 p.m.
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Uh... needhelp... well, YOUR username obviously fits.
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Lets see.... I never said anything about "keeping a man"... (that's some bizarre assumption on your part, that every woman has a man around, as referenced to this, AND your prior statement)
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How about you tackle your poor helpless little head around the idea that 1) Not every woman wants, or needs, a man around and 2) The fact that my assertion that high heels are oppressive MEANS I don't support them as traditional woman's wear?
As far as housemouse, well, if that's the best your poor helpless self can come up with, then fine. I'm enraged and insulted if that makes you feel better. *sigh* I can see why your wife drinks and is exasperated with you.
Sep 17, 2009 at 4:10 p.m.
Sep 17, 2009 at 3:56 p.m.
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PARTARICAN-1:THANS FOR OFFER AND IF YOU KNOW OF ANY NUMBERS I MIGHT BE ABLE TO CALL FOR ANSWER'S PLEASE LET ME KNOW.I'M NOT ASKING FOR ANYBODY TO DO THE WORK FOR ME,LIKE HOUSEMOUSE SEEMS TO THINK.AND I DO PROTECT MY SON AND PROVIDE FOR HIM,AND THATS FOR HOUSEMOUSE AS WELL...........
Sep 17, 2009 at 3:51 p.m.
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Also- housemouse? What? Is that supposed to be an insult? It's Evilhouswife, usually.
Turn off your ALL CAPS. It's considered SHOUTING.
Sep 17, 2009 at 3:49 p.m.
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Ah yes, because I have a username of "evansvillehousewife" I sit at home and eat bonbons? It's a tongue-in-cheek name, dearie, I do work fulltime in a professional job, and my income is quite enough to support myself,thankyouvrymchmmkaybye.
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And, your story is changing. So YOU own the house, but in the post before you said "it's her house too" and so you were split up before, but now she has to live with you? So, SHE is living with you and you leave the kid with her while you work?
Sounds like you should go back to being split up, but really, I go back to my original assertion which has not changed. It sounds like you just want someone else to make her behave the way you want her to. If you truly had an issue with her behavior, you shouldn;t have let her move in. It's called hitting bottom.
Sep 17, 2009 at 3:31 p.m.
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EVANSVILLHOUSEMOUSE:THIS WOMEN IS THE KIDS MOTHER,AND WE WERE SPLIT UP FOR 6 MONTHS LAST YEAR,BEFORE SHE LOST HER HOUSE AND HAD TO MOVE INTO(MY HOUSE)AND I DO WORK,BUT IN THESE TIMES IT TAKES TWO INCOMES TO GET BY.SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT,MAYBE YOUR THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT WORKING ALL ABOUT.....
Sep 17, 2009 at 3:30 p.m.
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thisisme- He had my interest and sympathy until he was hostile to someone else and also made it clear he expected CPS to protect his son. Notice also how he calls her "this girl". Is this his wife that he has been with for 10+ years? If so, calling her "this girl" is pretty mysogynistic. He can't talk until 3:30 but yet posts on a website for help?
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Also, it makes me want to puke that guys are going to walk a mile in high heels. Um, so high heels cause cause foot problems, back problems, and leg problems. They are a classic sign of how women suffer to achieve an unrealistic body ideal. Would this be as cute if men vomited their meals and tried to be underweight? Or got plastic surgery?Perhaps if women weren't raised and targeted as sex objects in high heels, we wouldn;t have such a huge abuse rate.
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Why are we holding up high heels as a symbol of womanhood? Seriously. It's as liberating as a corset or a chastity belt. Let's put bras and girdles on men and then parade them around as they learn what it's like to be a woman! How cute would that be? Maybe some Coach purses too! How gaga!
Sep 17, 2009 at 1:57 p.m.
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I CAN'T TALK TILL AFTER 3:30 THAN I CAN IF SHE FINDS OUT,HELL TO PAY. AND NO,SHE LIVES IN MY HOUSE AND IT IS HER SON TOO.......
Sep 17, 2009 at 1:42 p.m.
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One of the things that needhelp might learn in Al-Anon is that someone being "ordered" to meetings is not going to change. They need to make the decision to change on their own. needhelp, you are responsible for yourself and your kid(s). Make your decisions accordingly.
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I don't think the name of the event needs to be changed -- women are still overwhelmingly the victims. But there's probably nothing wrong with someone (a woman in men's clothing?) carrying a sign that they're walking on behalf of men, too.
Sep 17, 2009 at 12:36 p.m.
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Evansvillehousewife- get a grip. Do you know the whole story? Do you know how frustrating it is to not be able to get any help? Even being a woman, it is hard to get help when the abuser has so much control. Give the benefit of the doubt don't make accusations on a situation that you know nothing about.
Needhelp- You do have the option of intervening and having her commited to the 5th floor of the hospital for observation. Al-Anon can help you mentally get through some of the mental anguish that living with an alcoholic (male or female) can cause. Because I don't know your situation it is hard to say what kind of help you can get if you take yourself and your son out of the situation while she is getting help. Sometimes taking yourself out of the situation can be as much of an eye opener as anything. The House of Mercy has short term living arrangments and can also help you get on your feet if you need to separate yourself completely for awhile. YOU have to be the one that takes the first step, though, and I speak this coming from an abusive, alcoholic relationship in the past. The help is out there for all...
Sep 17, 2009 at 11:56 a.m.
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Needhelp- "go yell at your man"??? Um, sounds like it's not only the woman in your relationship that has issues with communication. Seriously. And calling CPS to protect your kid when that is your job? Puh-leeze. YOU need to to provide a safe environment for your son. Period.
Sep 17, 2009 at 11:55 a.m.
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Needhelp, I think you misunderstood what I wrote. I AM on your side. I didn't write the comment about football or nascar and I don't think that person meant anything negative against you either. My brother was the victim of domestic abuse so I know that men can and are victims of domestic abuse. I'm sure it happens a lot more than most people realize. When I wrote in my first post, "Maybe some people will carry a sign during the walk that reads, "walking in his shoes. Men can be victims too". I was suggesting that maybe some people will carry a sort of protest-type sign to make people aware that domestic violence isn't just against women. Men can be victims as well. And please be assured, I've never yelled at my husband :) I hope someone on here can find help for you and your son.
Sep 17, 2009 at 11:53 a.m.
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It rather sounds like he would like to complain and get someone else to do the work for him. "This girl" is obviously NOT the son's mom. Let me guess... they live with HER in her property, and he doesn't want to get a job or get his own place. That' s too haaarrd.
So instead he lives with an abusive alcoholic, lets her pay the rent, and wishes that "someone" would "order" her to act decent.
He came on here, aired his stresses, and then got obnoxious and told somone to "mind their own biss" after HE was the one complaining.
Sep 17, 2009 at 11:28 a.m.
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What can I do to help? I can make phonecalls, and ask questions to help you find resources to get what you need, needhelp. Please respond so we can get the ball rolling and get you and your son the help you seek.
Sep 17, 2009 at 11:23 a.m.
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Sarah- If the genders were reversed, the man would be arrested and possibly kicked out of the house without the kids until "his problem" was SOLVED, UNLIKE what is happening to him and his situation..
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AGAIN, I ask....WHO will help him with this situation?
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Ultimately, the kids suffer and NONE of the "agencies" care AT ALL.
Sep 17, 2009 at 11:18 a.m.
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needhelp- have do you have any relatives or friends in the area you could stay with? It is not your fault your woman is an alcoholic, and you and your son don't deserve verbal abuse for any reason. CPS is designed to help kids when they are in danger; you are not endangering your child, and unless your woman beats him or you , they can do nothing. Have you considered calling the YWCA to ask if they can help? Just because the program is designed for women doesn't mean they deal exclusively with women. As for someone making your woman get counseling, only you and one other family member can have her admitted to the 5th floor for observation; do it some night when she's blasted and beligerant(sp?). Have you tried the First Call for Help? And don't forget, even though you may love her very much, you and your son deserve to be treated like humans and not be subject to abuse. The First Call # is 608-752-3100.
Sep 17, 2009 at 11:10 a.m.
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Want to learn more about this great event? Check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAZHHkcLU...
Sep 17, 2009 at 11:05 a.m.
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YEAH,WAHT CAN I DO?I THOUGHT FOR SURE THAT C.P.S.WOULD STEP UP BECAUSE THIS DOE'S EFFECT MY SON WHEN SHE SNAPS AND HE'S TRYING TO GET TYO SLEEP FOR SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY.I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IF SHE CALLED THEM AND SAID I WAS DOING ANY OF THESE THINGS THEY WOULD BE AT MY DOOR THE NEXT DAY.AND I HAVE CALLED THE COP'S AND SOME HOW IT ALWAYS GETS TURNED AROUND,IT'S THE SAME OLD STORY THE MAN IS AT FAULT,WOMEN DON'T ACT THAT WAY. YEAH RIGHT...........
Sep 17, 2009 at 10:57 a.m.
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Lets hope the name and format of this event gets changed by next year so its not so misleading and represents ALL victims of DV.
Sep 17, 2009 at 10:40 a.m.
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Needshelp still wants to know where he can get the kind of intervention that would be available if the genders were reversed.....ANYONE???
Sep 17, 2009 at 10:34 a.m.
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No, what I said was not implications about you at all...Now, thats settled...can we get back to the issue?
Sep 17, 2009 at 10:28 a.m.
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I'M SORRY,BUT IT SURE SOUNDED LIKE IMPLICACTIONS TO ME.
Sep 17, 2009 at 10:26 a.m.
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needhelp- belisama is on your side too, WHATS your problem?????
Sep 17, 2009 at 10:22 a.m.
Suggest removal
needhelp- I was completely on your side and trying to help you and not making any implications about you at all....I'm starting to think its not just your wife thats the problem even though she MAY BE most at-fault.
Sep 17, 2009 at 10:14 a.m.
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I'M GUESSING THAT BELISAMASANA IS A WOMEN,FOR YOUR INFO,I DON'T WATCH FOOTBALL OR RACEING.SO MAYBE YOU SOULD JUST MIND YOUR OWN BISS, ON THIS ONE OR MAYBE GO YELL AT YOUR MAN..............
Sep 17, 2009 at 10:01 a.m.
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belisamasana- Thats a very good suggestion, I hadn't thought of that...The only problem may be that too many "men" are obsessed with stuff like "nascar" and "superbowl" to actually get out and do anything themselves.
Sep 17, 2009 at 9:53 a.m.
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Sarah- Thats all fine and good, but its not the father that needs the intervention, its the mother...Is there anyone to help him with this?
Sep 17, 2009 at 9:47 a.m.
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TRUTH-1,I REALLY DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO PUT MY SON THOUGH ANY MORE STUFF THAN HE'S BEEN THROUGH,THERE HAS TO BE A WAY TO GET THIS GIRL ORDERED INTO SOME KIND OF MEETINGS THAT WILL HELP HER.
Sep 17, 2009 at 9:42 a.m.
Suggest removal
IF I WENT TO LIVE IN MY CAR WITH MY KID C.P.S WOULD BE ALL OVER ME IN A SEC,
Sep 17, 2009 at 9:40 a.m.
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needhelp- I'll go out on a limb here, but have you gone to some churches for help, how about that big one at 14 and Wright?
Sep 17, 2009 at 9:38 a.m.
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Its "for the children".....yeah, RIGHT
Sep 17, 2009 at 9:33 a.m.
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MAYBE,BUT I DON'T THINK THATS ENOUGH.I WANT THIS GIRL TO GET THE HELP SHE NEEDS.WHAT CAN I DO?
Sep 17, 2009 at 9:29 a.m.
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needhelp- Yeah, what are you and your son supposed to do, live in your car?
Sep 17, 2009 at 9:27 a.m.
Suggest removal
Maybe some people will carry a sign during the walk that reads, "walking in his shoes. Men can be victims too".
Sep 17, 2009 at 9:15 a.m.
Suggest removal
WHAT ABOUT SOME HELP FOR THE MEN THAT ARE VICTIMS,I LIVE WITH A WOMEN THAT DRINKS EVERY DAY AND IS MEAN AS HELL.WE HAVE A 10 YEAR OLD SON,AND HE SEE'S THE FIGHTS.I CALLED C.P.S.FOR HELP TO SEE IF THEY COULD HELP ME,MAYBE ORDER HER INTO SOME KIND OF MEETINGS OR SOMETHING TO CONTROL HER ANGER.AND THEY AL MOST LAUGHED AT ME AND TOLD ME TO TAKE MY SON AND RUN,WHERE AM I TO RUN TO? THERE;S NO HELP OUT HERE FOR A MAN AND HIS KIDS.BUT IF I WAS A WOMEN THERES ALL KINDS OF HELP,WHATS UP WITH THAT?
Sep 17, 2009 at 8:46 a.m.
Suggest removal
Again, the event title makes it sound like its 100% male perpetrators, not 65%.....quite misleading.
.
And, just because more males don't report DV locally doesn't mean its not happening more than reported.
Sep 17, 2009 at 8:17 a.m.
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truth1- Historically, women have been the vitims of domestic abuse more frequently than males. The statistics they gave are national figures, and not local. Go to the YWCA and ask for local statistics. You'd be suprised by the numbers. And it is not a myth that mostly men are abusers, even by the federal stats. 65% is a majority. So please, put on some heels and walk a mile in their shoes because you care about stopping domestic violence of any kind.
Sep 17, 2009 at 8:12 a.m.
Suggest removal
Very poor and misleading name for an event like this is all I've got to say....makes it sound like females are 100% of the victims and males 100% of the perpetrators....I suppose its possible the organizers want to promote that myth.
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