There’s news, and then there’s Palin news
“Good evening, and welcome to another installment of ‘Global Glimpses.’ I’m James Prynterzink, joined as always by Wendell Picapole.”
“Good evening, James. There’s plenty to report tonight—plenty of news happening all around the world, in fact. And our lead story: President Barack Obama wraps up a week-long trip to Asia, where he found difficult issues, and difficult negotiations, with partners and rivals alike.”
“Absolutely, Wendell. It was no doubt with some sense of relief that Mr. Obama made his final stop a very friendly one in South Korea, a strong American ally. Of course, even that part of the trip wasn’t without its problems demanding attention—most especially, what to do about the nuclear ambitions of that rogue regime in neighboring North Korea. Now…”
“You did it.”
“Now, Mr. Obama and South Korean president…”
“You did it. I knew you’d do it.”
“South Korean—excuse me a moment. I did what?”
“You said ‘rogue.’”
“So?”
“‘Rogue regime in North Korea.’ You said it. I knew you’d say it.”
“And I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Sure you do. You said ‘rogue.’ Just like in ‘Going Rogue.’”
“It had nothing to…”
“Of course it did! You wanted to talk about Sarah Palin.”
“Sarah Palin?! That’s the most ridiculous idea I…”
“Not at all. You’re dying to talk about her.”
“I…”
“Even though we’re a serious news show, deep down inside you needed to talk about her, and that book of hers.”
“That’s just silly! Why would I want to talk about a book I haven’t read? And have no intention of reading?”
“Because everybody else is talking about it! She’s on every other show on the planet with her book, and her tour, and all her interviews, and…”
“And this concerns me…how?”
“You’re feeling left out. So you thought maybe you’d slip something under the radar—make an allusion to her—just so you could be part of the buzz.”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but we don’t do buzz.”
“And it’s tearing you up inside, isn’t it? All your life you wanted to be a news anchor, and now here you are, sitting behind the desk of a real news show just like you always dreamed about, and all anybody wants to hear about is Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin, Sarah Pa…”
“I don’t care what the other shows are doing. I only care about what we’re doing, and that we stick to our standards. Sarah Palin isn’t news. Sarah Palin’s book isn’t news. Sarah Palin’s book tour isn’t news. Sarah Palin’s…”
“You think she’s hot!”
“I think you’re nuts!!”
“Admit it—you’ve got a thing for her. If she ever did this show…”
“Over my dead body!”
“If she ever did this show, you’d turn into a great big puddle right there on the floor. They’d have to get out the mop!”
“You’ve gone off your meds again, haven’t you? Or maybe that little nap in the afternoon?”
“Admit it! You love her! Admit it! You…”
“My apologies, ladies and gentlemen. We’ll take a short break, and I’ll ask a security guard to get my colleague under control.”
“‘I’ll ask a…’! You said ‘I’ll ask a…’!! But you really meant ‘Alaska’!!! You…”
“We’ll be right back.”
Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at rickhoro@execpc.com.
Nov 21, 2009 at 7:05 a.m.
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Barrack was in the senate 24 months when he ran for president & got paid for two years to inherit the economy. So who has more integrity?
The guy what drew a government pay check while promoting himself for higher office, or the women that resigned to promote her self & book? (and get a 7 million dollar book deal)
Nov 20, 2009 at 3:32 a.m.
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ja67: first you moan about having to read about sarah palin and then you want to know more .... just figure you'd be in her dust.
Nov 19, 2009 at 6:23 p.m.
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Actually, DiGriz, no, you don't...
...but you did anyway, didn't you?
And whose fault is that?
Yours?
Or the Gazette's?
Nov 19, 2009 at 4:55 p.m.
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Palin is a Republican.
Nov 19, 2009 at 4:50 p.m.
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both of you knew the topic and the author before you began...i hope...;)
Nov 19, 2009 at 4:03 p.m.
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Really, do we have to read about Sarah Palin in the paper? It's like a broken record. Anyone that gives up as Governor of Alaska tells me that she would be bad news as Vice-President of the United States. Besides, what kind of mess has she left in Alaska?
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