57 channels, one thing on

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Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Rrriinnng! Rrriinnng! Rrriin…

“Yeah, Vern’s Video—this is Vern.”

“Oh, good … you’re open! I wasn’t sure what time you’re open.”

“Ten minutes ago. So what do you need?”

“It’s my TV, Vern. I’m having a real problem with my TV.”


“I think maybe it’s that box thing … you know, for digital.”

“The converter box?”

“The converter box. I can never remember what they call it. My wife and I connected the whole thing a couple of weeks ago … everybody was saying you’ll lose your signal unless you have the box.”

“Well, they moved the deadline back a couple months. But if you need it, you might as well … sooner’s better than later, right?”

“They can drive you crazy with all these rules! Anyway, that’s when I started noticing it … after I connected it.”

“Started noticing what?”



“You know—the president.”

“I know who Obama is. You started noticing him?”

“Every time I turned the TV on.”


“First he was giving speeches. Then he was doing those meetings, with all the questions from regular people.”

“Town halls?”

“Town halls. And then it was interviews on ‘60 Minutes.’ First I thought it was a rerun—didn’t he already do an interview with ‘60 Minutes’? But the same reporter, he was asking about different stuff than before, so it had to be another one.”

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your…”

“I’m not finished. Then the next day Obama’s somewhere talking about the budget, and then another time he’s talking about clean energy, and then it’s a press conference, and then it’s…”

“Well, he is the president.”

“Sure, but it wasn’t just the news channels either—you know, CNN and those. That’s the weird part! I went to Leno, Obama was on Leno. I watched ESPN, he was on ESPN.”

“That’s not a…”

“Do you think my tuner is stuck?”


“My tuner. Because I never had this kind of problem before … the president everywhere.”

“I don’t…”

“He was even on Fox! They kept showing him laughing or something—you know, like he was enjoying being on Fox. That’s when I knew something was wrong.”


“And then this other time—this was really strange, he was talking right into the camera about Iran, I think—and on the bottom of the screen there were all these Arab words going across.”


“Does the converter box do that?”

“It doesn’t have anything to do with your…”

“I’m not paying extra for Al-what’s-his-name, I’ll tell you that!”


“Not a dime!”


“Not one dime!”

“Got it. Look, from everything you’re telling me, it’s not a problem with your set, or your converter box.”

“So what then?”

“I mean your set is picking up all the channels just fine. It’s just that he’s on all the channels.”


“All the channels, all the time.”

“And we get four years of this? Nothing but Obama?”

“Don’t worry … he’ll get tired of it. Or they will. Anyway, it could be worse.”

“I don’t see how.”

“It could be John Boehner.”

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at rickhoro@execpc.com.

Last updated: 9:49 am Thursday, December 13, 2012

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