Palin’s farewell: Words fail him
“We are facing tough challenges in America, with some seeming to just be hell-bent maybe on tearing down our nation, perpetuating some pessimism and suggesting American apologetics…”
--Sarah Palin, in her farewell speech as Alaska’s governor
“So how ’bout, in honor of the American soldier, ya quit makin’ things up!”
--Sarah Palin, same speech, addressing the media
“How could we make this stuff up?”
--The Media
“I’m makin’ stuff up.”
--Rick Horowitz
“Hey, everybody—everybody calm down and find yourselves some seats and we’ll be starting in right away. What an absolutely beautiful day it is, and it is my honor to welcome you to the first class or what some would call the inaugural class, even if that has a different meaning sometimes, here at the Sarah Palin Academy for Really Fluency.”
“We love you, Sarah!”
“And right back atcha! And it’s a real pleasure to be carrying that true Alaska spirit soaring through the rest of this great American country of ours by the dawn’s early light. Now…”
“Teach us, Sarah! Teach us!”
“Now many are those people who chose not to believe me when I said I wanted to fight for the things I gratefully believed in as their governor, and truth and freedom, without even being a governor anymore. And it’s obvious how wrong they continue to be because it’s never been about needing a title to speak their mind, which should be all of us. And that’s why I brought forth this Academy.”
“Mold us, Sarah! Shape us!”
“OK, now the first thing is having something to say which when you think about it even for a minute or two, you absolutely do, so then the thing you have to learn, and God bless our brave troops for being willing to fight and even die to protect it, is how to say it so it impacts on people.”
“Sarah, we are not worthy! Sarah, we…”
“Now that’s just the kind of nonsense some in the media enjoy to promulgate, and I say to them show me where that’s written down because it absolutely won’t be, as much as they live under our cherished freedoms, too. It only matters that you start with thoughts, and after that you find the words to say those thoughts out loud, and guess what, people? It’s a speech!”
“Bless you, Sarah! Bless you, Sarah!”
“OK, from long years of experience I have acquired other utilizable procedures which are also helpful in accomplishing this. One of the best of these is always connecting, which can mean reminding them about the salmon or that special pride or especially our rugged military, one nation under God, so in that way the people, whether they be poor or rich, whether they be tall or short, and also in different latitudes, can grasp it.”
“We want to be you, Sarah! We want to…”
“And if you want to wink, you wink.”
“We need to be you, Sarah! We…”
“And really interesting once you start producing a connection is keeping it going, not with the flow necessarily, which we know all about being on the crystal-clear Alaska waters all that time, but just keeping the words coming out, including inspiring and sometimes those larger words, or as some like to describe it, multi-syllables, to show that there’s serious business and not just circuses from Hollywood. And…”
“You are the light, Sarah! You are the…”
“And one other thing, and the most significant thing maybe to be infused is once you propagate the thoughts and words and no matter how many, it doesn’t even matter what order they arrive in!”
“You are…”
“Which is why English is completely no match for Palish, in which we stand.”
Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at rickhoro@execpc.com.
Aug 2, 2009 at 12:38 a.m.
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Hope there is room for a few million comedians, because a 1/2 million jobs or better are being lost by the month.
Aug 2, 2009 at 12:36 a.m.
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darwin:
You better hope you boy Obama does not get popped then, because you will then be sitting on the the biggest idiot of all time in office if he does. I would be pretty worried if I'm a big left winger. Something that should make a self described elitist like yourself a little scared! A big leftist like yourself should be a little worried of this, as the only thing that is exploding in this economy (other then government spending) is gun and ammunition sales, and that is no joke. Kind of strange how some of the so called "smartest" presidents have really been the biggest disasters. Take Wilson; had the full Ivy league education, head of Princeton, ext. Yet he managed to get us involved in the dumbest war of all time.
Aug 1, 2009 at 3 p.m.
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Sarah Palin as President would be great for the economy. Anyone out of work could easily get a job as a comedian: all you have to do is show video of her. The easiest work anyone could do.
Aug 1, 2009 at 12:02 a.m.
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Sarah...pleaaase seek the nomination...oh please. Us real Americans need a leader like you who don't take no crap from none of those stinkin' liberals and media. Don't quit now, we reeeeaaaly need you, hoistin' the flag, standin' up for us out here in god fearin' country, shootin' moose and such. You and Rush, that is the ticket. We will make him drug czar, and you can be the queen, just like you were there already once before heh...Go Sarah go!!!
Jul 31, 2009 at 11:37 p.m.
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Palin and the Republicans hate the media so much they spent $150,000 on clothes so that she would look good in the media.
The media and their cameras and microphones recording events that happen in real time. If they would just stop questioning and broadcasting the world would be a much better place.
Jul 31, 2009 at 1:45 p.m.
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Palin would have been the next Reagan, if not for liberals. Every time she says something so amazingly stupid, its because there is a liberal using a Jedi mind trick on her, and the liberal media never shows it! Why don't they reveal the truth - fear! They are terrified of her leadership skills. Now more than ever now that she has quit her job and has all this free time on her hands to change the system. Give that amazingly talented person one week and she'll have the Rebublican party back on its feet! The left is shaking in it's boots.
Jul 31, 2009 at 1:39 p.m.
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Well I am an elitist. I will take one elitist surgeon, doctor, scientist, green beret, navy seal, Favre in a west coast offense, General Petreus, and anyone else with an elite level of talent. Now you anti-elitists can have the mediocrity of this world: Palin, Bush, Dennis Miller, every Packer's coach after Mike Holmgren, the Brewers, Newt Gingrich, Pat Buchanan, Nascar, Country Music minus Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash and Dolly Parton.
kiowhican what reality do you live in. Your examples are always some extreme dichotomy. I will take a retarded homeless alcoholic who is honest as a doctor over a 200 IQ skilled surgeon who is a sell out because he owns a foreign car. Please, come back to reality and have a real discussion about the issues.
Jul 31, 2009 at 1:05 p.m.
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Palin is the heart blood of the Republican party.
Jul 31, 2009 at 10:54 a.m.
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panamared:just a note I never claimed to be a phsycoanlyst, those are your words. The point I was trying to make was horowitz loves writing about her and seems very bitter about her. Therefore since he writes like he's in JR.High, I figure he acts like one too.You know boys, they talk real bad about a girl when they secretly like them and know they are not even close to their league!!! I would take Palin over gaffer Biden or Obama anyday. and Rick could you find someone else to write about I'm tired of your rhetoric. Find a new girlfriend!
Jul 31, 2009 at 10:06 a.m.
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PanamaRed: Where did I say I "believe Palin has the intelligence and leadership skills to become the spokesperson for the conservative wing of the GOP"? You're as bad as Horowitz - if you don't know anything, you just "make stuff up".
Jul 30, 2009 at 11:44 p.m.
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I thank PanamaRed for making my point even more clear. Instead of addressing the points as written makes up untrue claims.
Panama, try again. My comments reflected completely on the left (yours) and the media’s reaction to Palin---never said anything about what I think of her. It is very apparent that she is effective in the eyes of the left otherwise why waste time writing stories or opinion pieces about her. By reading the comments of the media she has as much chance being elected to a major office as small town alderman; yet none on the left is wasting time commenting on a small town alderman.
Jul 30, 2009 at 9:38 p.m.
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Super Dave: Thanks for the correction. I'm a numbers/stat guy, and not a grammar person, haha.
calitaslseeit: That's a great point you make. Considering 80% or so of your politicians (conservative estimate) are bought and paid for, would you rather have the ivy grad with the 180 IQ who is bought off and takes marching orders from the establishment, or some one with every day roots of small town America? That's not to say I endorse her, I just will take people with character and individuality over those who are bred into the corrupt system, bought and paid for.
.
I also agree with whoever compared her to Biden. If you want to compare intelligence, keep in mind that it was Biden who plagiarized material to pass law school. Who said during the campaign that FDR went on TV after the 1929 market crash. Even though FDR was not even president, and TV's were not even inverted yet! This gut truly is a klutz. I'd take Palin over him in any test that measures intelligence, and i would gladly book any bets for anyone who wanted action on Biden.
Jul 30, 2009 at 8:42 p.m.
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I hope she is the GOP nominee. I really mean it...tee hee hee. You boys n' girls deserve her...tee hee hee. I'll guarantee my vote will be for her in the 2012 Wisconsin Primary...tee hee hee. Matter of fact, I might even send her a buck or two if she is in the race...tee hee hee. Oh God, this is too funny...tee hee hee.
Jul 30, 2009 at 4:39 p.m.
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The funny part is - you could substitute a name anywhere in this story instead of Sarah Palin-Alaska and put in Barak Obama-Illinois, Bill Clinton-Arkansas, Ted Kennedy-Massacusetts and it would make just as much sense.
Jul 30, 2009 at 1:36 p.m.
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After listening to "Bushisms" for the last eight years, you should probably forgive RAF and SuperDave if they believe Palin has the intelligence and leadership skills to become the spokesperson for the conservative wing of the GOP.
(Great comment, SarahB1)
Whoanellie, obviously you must be trained Psychoanalyst. No one else could have possibly come up with the reason Mr. Horowitz wrote this column except you, or maybe Rush.
Jul 30, 2009 at 1:28 p.m.
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Once again RAF - you are posting more factless opinione.
Jul 30, 2009 at 11:52 a.m.
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Superdave said:
"why do those in the media keep talking about her"
Because they all know she's a train wreck waiting to happen, that's why. They can't wait for her to open her mouth and put her foot in it, as she usually does. A good public speaker she is not. Makes for good 15 second news stories, which is about all most American's are interested in nowadays.
She was one of McCain's biggest problems. A different running mate and that race would have been much closer.
Jul 30, 2009 at 11:42 a.m.
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I think Horowitz is secretly scared of Sarah Palin and also probably has a secret crush on her that makes him act and write like some juvenile idiot!! get over yourself Rick, she's already taken!!
Jul 30, 2009 at 11:24 a.m.
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Irony would have been planned yours was natural...total non-"genious"
Jul 30, 2009 at 11:06 a.m.
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You don't see the irony of my Palinism?
Jul 30, 2009 at 10:57 a.m.
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"she is a genious and one of this generations greatest leaders."
-
I bet she knows how to spell "genius"...
Jul 30, 2009 at 10:42 a.m.
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Our generation has very few leaders that qualify as good much less great. The bar is pretty low and she is young. Who knows what the future brings?
Jul 30, 2009 at 10:25 a.m.
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Right SuperDave she is a genious and one of this generations greatest leaders.
Jul 30, 2009 at 9:59 a.m.
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And her intelligence level is lower than 99% of the idiots we have in both the house and the senate? I would rather have someone with a 115 IQ who has integrity and honesty than the career politicians in the congress or a pay to play governor who feels he has no need for accountability on his expense reports. I would put her up against Joe Biden in an IQ contest any day.
Jul 30, 2009 at 9:38 a.m.
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kiowa: I think you mean "secede". And I second RAF's observation. If Palin doesn't matter, why do those in the media keep talking about her? It's because they are trying to pre-empt any attempt by the Palin camp to return to the national scene. This column is a stunning example of what Sarah Palin was talking about the other day - since this column is a total fabrication, it begs the question to the media - why don't you just do your job and quit making stuff up? And yes, I know that Horowitz was doing just that - intentionally. It would be really nice if, just for once, he wrote something intelligent.
Jul 30, 2009 at 9:08 a.m.
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Right RAF she is a genious and one of this generations greatest leaders.
Jul 30, 2009 at 1:48 a.m.
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Perhaps it can be Alaska who succeeds from the US, and Palin can become head of the new sovereign state. They have enough oil wealth there (that can not be exploited thanks to congress) that no tax of any kind would ever need to be levied on the citizens. It could quickly become the Dubai of the Western world in it's vast wealth, all the while the US they succeeded from would sink further into debt, and bankruptcy!
They could legalize pot and gambling, and it would quickly become the libertarian paradise. I'm on my way to Alaska when that happens!
Jul 30, 2009 at 12:46 a.m.
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People slow down at car accidents too.
Jul 30, 2009 at 12:23 a.m.
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Makes you wonder, if she is so unimportant and meaningless why do the talking heads on the left including the media keep bringing her name up? If as they say, she doesn’t stand a chance there should be nothing more to talk about…
Jul 29, 2009 at 12:20 p.m.
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Actually the joke is on anyone who thinks Sarah Palin could possibly hold a major political office. I can understand Badgerlvr's confusion. Horowitz's column reads like one of Palins speeches she gave on the campaign trail. I am no elitist but Palin has proven she does not have the intelligence to become of functioning Senator much less President. Do us all a favor Sarah and just fade away with what little remaining dignity you have.
Jul 29, 2009 at 12:06 p.m.
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Badgerlvr...you better read it a third time. Looks like the joke is on you.
Jul 29, 2009 at 10:59 a.m.
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Badgerlvr: You do realize that Horowitz really did MAKE UP this entire article, save for some of the quotes at the beginning. That's why I can't get through an entire column of his. It's like going to the movies and being unable to suspend disbelief. At some point you just walk out of the theatre, wishing you hadn't ever gone in. What a waste of space.
Jul 29, 2009 at 2:13 a.m.
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Yes Rick lives on in the "immortal" word of a TV character; he has almost the same intelligence.
Jul 28, 2009 at 8:21 p.m.
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I read this article twice...and I'm still trying to figure out what she said? Alaska can only be grateful she resigned.
Jul 28, 2009 at 7:18 p.m.
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in the imortal wording of Barnie Fife... "She's a Nut !
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