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It's another Ho-Ho-Horowitz Christmas!

You know Tweeter and Hacker,

Tea-Bagger and Birther,

Sanford and Ensign and Rangel and Murtha,

But do you recall...

The year's biggest players of all?

Jingle Bells,

Sarah sells,

Now she's got a book,

Truth? Or lies? While she tries and tries

To be worth a second look.

Jingle Bells,

Sarah tells,

Time for settling scores,

Wants to lead, but she'd have to read,

So she's better off outdoors!

* * *

It's beginning to look a lot like health care,

Time for quid pro quo,

There isn't a lot of zeal,

There's only the wheel-and-deal,

Just to put the 60 in a row…

* * *

Oh, the weather outside is frightful,

And the GOP is spiteful,

Till there's only one vote to go:

Mrs. Snowe, Mrs. Snowe, Mrs. Snowe!

Watch McConnell team up with Boehner,

And they can't be any plainer,

That however the winds may blow,

They say "No!" They say "No!" They say "No!!"

* * *

O Lieberman,

Joe Lieberman,

You stuck the knife in "Buy-In,"

A Dem defeat—

Revenge is sweet!—

While tens of thousands die-in.

* * *

Just hear those fat cats bankering,

Hank-hank-hankering, too,

We saved their butts so totally,

Gloat-gloat-gloatery's due.

But they won't stop their moaning

Or start their loaning—

Boo-hoo!

They still insist they own us,

So there won't be a bonus for you.

* * *

How pesky Nobel is,

Win the prize too early,

What drama! Obama's a

Celeh-eh-brity!

Come and admire him,

Only months in power,

So much anticipating,

Such Greatness can be grating,

But what's the point of waiting?

Cli-imb aboard!

* * *

Said the host to the viewers ev'rywhere,

"Do you see what I see?

Balloon Boy is flying ev'rywhere—

Do you see what I see?"

A fraud! A fake!

There's not a thing at stake,

What a wacko method to use,

Just to get your face on the news.

* * *

You'd better watch out,

You'd better tune in,

You'd better not doubt

There's millions to win,

Instant Glory's coming to town.

With hours to fill,

And channels galore,

Cameraman might just knock on your door,

Instant Glory's coming to town.

We watch them when they're healthy,

We worry when they cough,

We stare at Levi Johnston

When he takes his Levis off…

* * *

I saw Mommy kissing Tiger Woods,

In the cocktail lounge the other night,

They shared a glass of wine,

He treated her real fine,

He told her, "Take a number,

And then take your place in line…"

* * *

Labels sing,

"We're designer!"

When you buy,

Nothing's finer!

Your ticket to fame,

Just go for the name,

Walking in a Warhol Wonderland.

Nothing deep,

Better skim it,

Fifteen clicks

Is the limit,

A moment's renown—

The next stop is "Down"—

Walking in a Warhol Wonderland.

Walking—in a Warhol—Wonderland!!!