optimism, when I have skyline chili, it's usually for lunch. I save the drinkin' for the evening-time (except for emergency situations). ;-)

GAZETTEFAN....I'll try anything "twice" hehe. Does it go good with beer?? ;o)

Alright Hannah, you had me crying too. My daughter came up from her room...she thought she had to save my life! LOL

Hormel is HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some people like hormel- it is okay.

i had a boyfriend once that used to love it till he quit smoking then he said this stuff tastes like you know (what)

FUNNY!!!! hannah. ;-)

Skyline Chili is not gut busting. It's available at small restaurants in Cincinnati and some parts of Florida. You can get it with or without beans.

You can get the kind without beans, in a can, at Sentry on Court. Sure it's in a can but it's the best canned product I've ever had. It's different, give it a chance at least twice. It's very flavorful, not blinding hot stuff, it's like a sauce.

Funny Hannah!! THanks for the chuckle.

i still like most of those dishes but try something NEW!!
we had cornish game hens one holiday and i wouldnt tell her what they were till she tried. then i told here. she liked them but turned up her nose- i said theyre just little chickens. she couldnt eat it all and wanted to take home the rest- so im pretty sure she liked it.
i made the mistake of telling one holiday we are having hens and lamb- my grandma said she wouldnt come if we did. you HAVE TO HAVE HHHAAAAMMM for easter. i didnt get that rule book i guess!! remeber my bet about ham- i eat enough ham- so we had HAM and lamb

puramid too funny- i am the opposite. I need juicy meat. prefer RARE steak but like charred on the outside!!
she didnt do greenbean caserole much.
i like chix if skin crispy so i crunch on it. if soggy i rip it off and give to hubby. on the grill and dogs very done on outside though. so i guess i comprized. somereason i could never choke down the well done pork chop would just chew and chew try to put in my napkin. couldnt leave till all done!!! bad cream of wheat- texture yuk!

and had to EAT all down to the bone- i dont now give to hubby to chew on bones. or mom in law- shell likes the cartilage- ick!!
if i ever have kids guess dad would get all the bones too.

last part- sorry long but so funny
CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI..

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. (forget )it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?

Judge # 3 - No Report

part 5- anytime i put () those are replacement words

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I (pooed) on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my (but) with a snow cone.

part 3

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beermaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really (angers me) me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. (beep , beep , beep about southern people )

part 2

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.

Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting (very wasted)faced from all of the beer.

texas chile contest part one
Texas Chili Contest
If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy (moley), what the heck is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Completely dried out meat...especially chicken because she was a working mom and when she'd get home, she'd throw it in a skillet, turn the electric burner (aptly named) on high and let 'er rip. By the time she got back to it after changing from work clothes, starting the washer, etc., dinner was ten minutes shy of jerky. To this day, I cannot handle moist chicken...it's got to be dried out just like Mumsy use to make. Mmmmm 7-layer salad and tatertot casserole....two of my favorite comfort foods. And don't forget green bean casserole for the holidays!

gfan - i emailed you a texas chili contest joke. did you get it very funny!!

nope g-fan- just called it chili. she prob never made chilimac hehe that would be sorta exotic sounding

all i know is I dont like it much. true the macaroni did split the next day as left oversYUK. i think you need to add corn for goul- lash. and i dont think shell eat true chili "too spicey wine wine.
my mom was never too original. i think i could list the menu
chili stuff
blt- my fav
meat loaf cooked till past dead- still love meatloaf though
pork chops- cook past way dead
burgers
can spaghetti
grill chz-tom soup
spaghetti
7 layer salad
tater tot caasserole
broc casserole- chx wiz and rice
if we go to family bday etc we always bet/ bbq OR ham.
she did get recipe for
lazana casserole
and pulled bbq pork

the special we get to eat out on fri BIG BOY- wish they were still here

it isnt doen yet if juice comes out

If it wasn't for the incredibly drunk folks that populate the event, this would truly be an event for the whole family.

Is anyone familiar with the term "chilimac?" The soupy stuff with the macaroni sounds like chilimac. Chilimac is the exotic alternative to mac and cheese.

Yes, true chili has no pasta!

Hannah - I think our moms were separated at birth ("...it isn't chili if it is soupy with overdone macaroni in it.") And if Mom added too much overdone macaroni, it miraculously became "goulash." ;p

CHILIMANIA ROCKS!!

Why didn't she write about the lack of parking???? Does anyone know why they decided to put apartment buildings in the only downtown parking lot???? This year was the first year I went in about five to six years. I was not really impressed. When the taste testing came people were rude and bumping into each other. Someone ran into my daughter in her stroller and almost fell on top of her. And never even apologized or turned around. It was ridiculous. Maybe they could have it a little more organized instead of everyone going in ten different directions at one time. But maybe it was just me!

ground round USED to have some awesome chile- i think it changed though. it was darker brown and warm enough for me. served with tortilla chips yum.

My mom make what she calls chili- IT ISNT CHILI if it is soupy with over done macarroni in it!!

Cincinnati Skyline Chile!

My chili is never sweet.....? Hot and spicy only please.

P: "Did you hear that Terrance? You're not guilty!"
T: "Oh Phillip, you saved me from the gas chamber!"

Maybe she just wrote what she saw..instead painting a pretty rosey picture like most articles about Edgerton.

This counter-postmodern jaunt is best enjoyed when the reader brings something to the table. As a matter of fact, reader participation is a requirement bordering on the highest of human responsibilities. Note how the story makes a contra-taboo issue of the highly personal nature of flatulence, phantasmagorically elevating it to a realm where other crucial stuff composing the life of the mind resides.

On this sly ride from the metaphorical gaseous nature of our essence we are delivered seamlessly to the raunchy nature of politics then, before we know it, we are dizzily back at the table where it all began.

Enjoy the ride!

If there were one bit of writing advice I could give Idzerda it would be more transition words. A lot of times her writing (and her sarcastic humor) takes on this disconnected-zinger quality. That said, it's just a local color piece to go with the photo gallery.

I know that you read the paper, so you should know by now that the answer is apparently "no".

Thought that you might have a picture of that "Bear Wife".

Reminds me of that campfire scene in "Blazing Saddles".