She never saw it coming
Department received phone call on CrimeStoppers line at approx. 8:30 p.m. Unidentified caller reported robbery in progress. Two squads dispatched to crime scene at 8:32.
Upon arrival, location identified as state headquarters for political campaign “Hillary ’08.” Officers secured perimeter, entered structure from front and rear entrances. Officers saw no immediate evidence of robbery, or any suspicious activities. (Note: Crowd made access to, and preservation of, potential crime scene difficult.)
Approx. 8:45, contact established with campaign officials. On initial inspection, vital signs were weak, but several were able to respond to questions and communicate with hand signals. Officials claimed no knowledge of crime or call. Upon hearing that call was apparently made by adult female, suggested possible source.
Approx. 8:57, officers taken to meet with candidate herself.
H.R. Clinton—Caucasian female, 60, average height and build—was encountered in inner office of headquarters building. Appeared relieved to see officers, acknowledged making call to CrimeStoppers. General demeanor calm, with some evidence of physical/emotional exhaustion.
Identity of items claimed stolen unclear on initial questioning—variously described as “it,” “my chance,” “my turn,” etc. Upon further questioning, descriptions became somewhat more specific: “my inevitability,” “my electability,” “my nomination”—apparent references to complainant’s presidential campaign.
Officers attempted to ascertain method of robbery, with limited success. Asked about use of weapons, complainant responded, “Words! Nothing but pretty words!” and became agitated. Further questioning elicited several references to “a giant wave,” but complainant was unable to provide details. (Note: No evidence of water damage found anywhere in building.)
Officers inquired whether complainant had attempted to defend herself during “robbery,” and if so, whether she had also used a weapon. Complainant became agitated once again and was not fully responsive, to wit:
“Experience! Ready on Day One! Experience!”
Officers and campaign officials attempted to calm complainant, to no avail. Complainant insisted that robbery had taken place not just in state headquarters building but in multiple locations throughout the state. Demanded that officers “do something about it right now!”
Identity of alleged perpetrator(s) remained unclear, even after lengthy questioning. At various times, complainant appeared to blame “all my fair-weather friends,” “jackals in the media,” “independence”/“independents”(?), “those damned kids,” and a person or organization called “OBAMA.”
Approx. 9:40 p.m., officers completed interview with complainant, recommended that she get some sleep. Officers assured her that her concerns would be taken seriously by state and local authorities.
Officer’s parting statement—“If there’s been a crime, we’ll certainly get to the bottom of it”—produced a further outburst by complainant:
“It’s a crime all right! You haven’t heard the last of this! You haven’t heard the last of me!”
Officers left the scene at 9:47 p.m.
Initial Assessment: Complainant clearly believes her account of the reported incident and believes further that she is the victim of a major injustice. Still, her inability to offer more concrete information about the incident makes her account difficult to credit. Speaking puzzling phrases over and over again doesn’t make them any clearer.
Complainant’s repeated assertions, for instance, that “I can make change, too!” struck officers as vague and unfocused. At one point, senior officer on the scene handed complainant a $20 bill, waited for her to make change. Instead, complainant handed the money to campaign official, saying “Buy more time in Nevada.”
Reference was unclear, and officer never saw his money again.
(Petty-cash reimbursement request to follow.)