Janesville68.2°

All Brett, all the time

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Rick Horowitz
August 5, 2008
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“…your place for news. Another earthquake rattles walls—and nerves—in China. Continued signs of weakness in the domestic housing market. And the presidential candidates slug it out on energy policy.


“All this just ahead. But our lead story this hour: Brett Favre has lunch. We’ve got Jim standing by in Green Bay with more.”


“That’s right, Ken. It was apparently some kind of sandwich, along with what we’re told were a few potato chips. Deanna Favre was with him, and we understand that she had a sandwich of her own. Ken?”


“Jim, any word on the type of sandwich?”


“We’re still looking into that. We’ve been able to confirm that both sandwiches were on wheat bread, but…”


“Both sandwiches? Are you saying Brett had two sandwiches?”


“Sorry, Ken. There’s a lot of commotion out here, as you might expect. I meant the sandwiches that both Brett and Deanna had. One sandwich apiece.”


“Thanks for clearing that up, Jim. And can you tell us: chips for Deanna, too?”


“I wasn’t able to confirm that, Ken.”


“I see.”


“But we’ve still got some people working on it, and as soon as we know, you’ll hear all about it.”


“I’m sure we will. Meanwhile, you’ve got a lot of fans here on the Packerland Network sitting on pins and needles. Any word at all on the fillings?”


“Say again?”


“The fillings for the sandwiches. Do you know if it was a peanut-butter-and-jelly kind of thing? Or more like a roast-beef-or-chicken kind of thing?”


“No word on that, Ken. Brett’s been known to enjoy a variety of sandwich types, as you know, so until we get more information, right now your guess is as good as mine.”


“So it is.”


“One other…”


“And back to the chips again for a moment, Jim. I know you’ve reported he had a ‘few’ potato chips with the sandwich. Can you narrow that down for us at all?”


“What we’re hearing, Ken—and this is unconfirmed—is that Brett had somewhere between seven and nine chips…”


“In the high single digits, then.”


“That’s right. Between seven and nine chips for him, and an unknown number for Deanna.”


“Probably less than Brett had, wouldn’t you think?”


“Well, she’s a lot smaller than Brett is, of course, so you’d certainly have to figure that’s right. Maybe in the range of four to six chips for Deanna, but at this point we’re really just speculating.”


“I understand.”


“And no dessert. We’re being told on pretty good authority that Brett did not have any dessert with his lunch.”


“Well, that’s interesting! People are going to read all sorts of things into that, aren’t they?”


“Very likely, Ken. Very likely. I think it says something about how serious he is about coming back, trying to avoid those extra calories.”


“Although he had been working out pretty regularly down in Mississippi.”


“Absolutely.”


“So it’s not like he was out of shape.”


“Not at all, Ken. Of course, as we all know, there’s a difference between being in shape and being in NFL shape.”


“Good point.”


“But at this stage, we’re just kind of reading the tea leaves here. We don’t know if he was trying to slim down, or if he simply didn’t feel like having anything else.”


“Good point.”


“That could have been all it was.”


“Exactly. We just don’t know.”


“Exactly.”


“Speaking of tea leaves, Jim, any word on the beverages?”


Click.
Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at rickhoro@execpc.com.

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