Janesville50.6°

Pentagon squabble: Attitude at altitude

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Rick Horowitz
April 22, 2008
“WASHINGTON (AP)—Defense Secretary Robert Gates said Monday the Air Force is not doing enough to help in the Iraq and Afghanistan war effort, complaining that some military leaders are ‘stuck in old ways of doing business.’”
Gates said in a speech at Maxwell Air Force Base, Ala., that getting the military services, largely the Air Force, to send more unmanned surveillance and reconnaissance aircraft to Iraq and Afghanistan has been ‘like pulling teeth.’”

Off we go, into the wild blue yonder,


Zooming by into the past,


Golden days, never morale to squander,


We were strong, canny and fast. (Canny and fast, hey!)


Times have changed, Pentagon likes to ponder


Robot planes, puny and coarse,


The future’s now, we’ll show them how —


Nothing can change the U.S. Air Force!


Gates is mad, gives us a real lambasting,


Says we’re not doing enough,


Says it’s war, says that the time is wasting,


“Stall no more!”—calling our bluff. (Calling our bluff, hey!)


Glory days, that’s what our tongues are tasting,


Years gone by, we were the source,


But that was then, and ne’er again—still


Nothing can change the U.S. Air Force!


We’re the best, why do they think we’re soreheads?


Always there, part of the team,


Now and then, we can lose track of warheads,


Otherwise, right on the beam. (Right on the beam, hey!)


Drones are dull, planes should be filled with more heads,


Flyboys yell till they go hoarse:


“Just put us in, and then we’ll win”—


Nothing can change the U.S. Air Force!


Foes below, hiding till we detect ’em,


Gates has toys, ready to play,


Got a bug climbing right up his rectum—


“I’m in charge! Do what I say!” (“Do what I say, hey!”)


Pull our teeth, brush ’em and then inspect ’em:


Not the first sign of remorse,


When you’re long gone we’ll carry on—


Nothing can change the U.S. Air Force!


Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at rickhoro@execpc.com.

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