Tired of being ridiculed by tin-pot dictators? Fed up with kowtowing to “international opinion”? Frustrated by those constant challenges to American influence from losers who should know better?
Your worries are over!
E-Z Diplomacy will show you how. Our renowned instructors will share the know-how they’ve acquired over years of service in Washington’s elite corps of Republican strategists and conservative commentators. And our easy-to-follow instructions—available on DVD, Blu-ray, or downloadable to your iPod—will have you throwing your weight around in no time.
--Don’t like a policy? Denounce it!
--Don’t like a treaty? Ignore it!
--Don’t like a regime? Get rid of it!
This is diplomacy with muscle. This is E-Z Diplomacy.
Let others waste time “talking to”—and even “listening to”—people we don’t agree with. While they’re spinning their wheels, you’ll be spinning your web of power and command.
Let others worry that coming out publicly for a particular side in some major foreign dispute might have precisely the opposite effect, and put the “bad guys” even more firmly in charge. In today’s fast-paced world, who has time for that kind of complicated reasoning?
Let others constantly “take the temperature” of the so-called “community of nations.” You’ve got a better idea: Why use a thermometer when you can stick a boot up their butt?
That’s the way we’ve always done it. That’s the E-Z Diplomacy way. And now it can be your way, too!
Forget about “nuance” and careful “calibration.” Forget about thinking three steps ahead—with E-Z Diplomacy, it’s one step at a time, every time. And sometimes, you won’t have to think at all!
--You’ll learn the secret of the three S’s: Strength, Sound Bites, and Squeeze ’em Hard.
--You’ll learn how to highlight those historical analogies that really sting.
We’re so sure you’ll be pleased, we can offer you this iron-clad guarantee: If you’re not completely satisfied with the new, assertive you in just 30 days of E-Z Diplomacy, we’ll tell you to do exactly the same things all over again. Only louder.